Preparing for Parenting
As a new parent, I’m enjoying the relative ease of being able to share, sing and talk about Jesus with my little boy. There is no pressure, nothing I need to be “politically correct” about. He’s too young to comprehend it all just yet.
But I know the time will come when he will have questions. When he will wonder why we go to church 2-3 times a week, why we pray before we eat, why we sit and read our bibles, why we choose not to drink alcohol and change the channel when sexual images come on TV. I’m sure he will have friends whose parents do things differently and he’ll be tempted to compare. There will be things that we do wrong that we’ll have to apologize for. Soon he will know our flaws.
The statistics of pastor’s kids leaving the faith is even more disheartening. The responsibility to make sure that “doesn’t happen to us,” can seem overwhelming at times.
So with all this in mind, we have given a lot of thought about how we will raise Micah. Not to say we won’t do things differently when the time actually comes, but we’ve thought a lot about how our parents raised us and what we would like to change or do the same.
Here are a few of the ways we are preparing for parenting.
1. Live out our faith at home.
We believe this is one of the greatest things we could do as parents. Showing Micah what it looks like to follow Christ in every area of our life. Being careful not to act one way at church and another at home. Reading the Bible together as a family and making it a priority. Hopefully these things will help Micah see that Jesus is not just a part of our life, He is our life.
2. Admit when we’re wrong.
Showing Micah (and any future children) that we’re not perfect won’t be very hard, he’ll see us make lots of mistakes. But admitting them will make all the difference. And asking forgiveness when we wrong him will be even more important (and I can only imagine, very very hard!) We want our children to see us in the best light. I know I already care what Micah thinks about me and he’s only 8 months old! It’s part of loving someone so much that you never want to do anything to break that bond. But the best way to teach children the gospel, is to show them mommy and daddy need forgiveness too.
3. Train them for righteousness.
We have discussed this one a lot. We’ve heard parents talk about not wanting to “pressure” their children to go to church, to read their Bible, or do anything basically that might make them feel forced to follow Jesus. We understand this and get where the parents are coming from. But we feel a responsibility to train our children to love the Lord and the things of God. And there will be times when they may not want to attend church and we will make them go. We find it ironic that when it comes to school or extracurricular activities, parents have no problem pressuring their kids to make good grades and be the best they can be. But when it comes to faith, we want to sit back and let them decide for themselves. Training involves discipline, and sometimes we need to be pushed to do the right thing.
4. Show love unconditionally.
This one seems easy right now. Nothing Micah could do could make me love him less. Even when he claws my face with those razor sharp nails (Geez! What is it about baby nails?) But what happens when Micah decides to stray from our guidance? And does things that honestly, I can’t even bring myself to write down because of how brokenhearted I feel even imagining it! What happens then? Our love will be what brings him home. No matter how good we parent, the choice is still his to follow Christ. If he strays, we cannot stray from loving him the same or we are preaching that love is earned through action, which is exactly the opposite of the love offered through Jesus Christ. This does not mean we won’t discipline him, we plan to do a lot of spanking in our home (Proverbs 23:13) but it will always be done in love. Even if that means we need to take a few moments to compose ourselves and pray before we do.
Being intentional as parents is important. Sure, our son just learned to crawl and he probably won’t be able to talk his way into trouble for at least a couple more years. But if we don’t begin to plan now for the future, then we’ll resort to being led by our natural tendencies. And let’s just say… mine aren’t too pretty.
month: eight
I can’t believe I have had the privilege of being this sweet boy’s mama for eight months already! EIGHT MONTHS. It really is hard to believe. And every month just keeps getting better and better. (I have a feeling this will stop maybe around the teenage years?? haha, kidding… kinda)
At 8 months, Micah is in love with…
- his daddy’s laugh
- playing peek-a-boo
- being tickled and kissed all over
- my iPhone
- our dog, Heidi (still)
- other babies and little kids
- saltine crackers
- my earrings, jewelry, sunglasses, etc.
- really, anything fun or interesting looking.
He is such a happy boy!
Micah is crawling… everywhere.
He is a little mover and I can’t take my eyes off him for long.
I am pretty proud of this picture.
It’s hard to get him to sit still for long, let alone smile for me!
This squinty nose grin is one of my favorites. :)
There he goes… trying to pull himself up on the chair!
Like I said… can’t. take. my. eyes. off. him.
He is learning so much lately.
I can see it in his eyes when I sing the “ABC’s…” or tell him a story.
He wants to understand.
He’s also learning how to play with his toys, instead of just chewing on them. :)
Micah has no fear.
It’s a very scary thing to know that he is capable of getting himself into trouble, but has no understanding of danger.
I am saying, “No, no” a LOT these days.
He’s already shaken open a bottle of teething tablets, stuffed lint in his mouth and tried to climb out of his high chair.
And they say this is only the beginning.
Micah has four teeth (working on two more at the moment!)
light brown hair that is coming in all over
and hazel eyes that are settling in on a green/brown color
This face just melts my heart.
He is an absolute blessing to our lives!
I could not have asked God to give us a more precious baby boy.
Happy 8 months Micah Jordan!
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Three.
I got to soak up some time with my two favorite boys this weekend!
Friday night we tried out a new Mediterranean place downtown.
It was Josh and I’s “date night.”
Except it ended up being us trying to keep Micah occupied the entire dinner, while we made uncomfortable glances at each other whenever he would let out a nice, loud shrill!
We probably won’t be attempting that again any time soon. Ha.
But the food was A+ (seriously, one of the best Greek places we’ve been to!)
Saturday morning we enjoyed the beautiful weather and had a picnic at the park.
It was so relaxing.
I just love being together as a family of three.
We don’t have to be doing anything.
Just sitting there together outside on a blanket,
with no distractions,
eating our sandwiches,
was the best part of that day for me. :)
Today, we’re back to our routine.
We are currently battling teething at the moment.
His first little bottom tooth poked through this weekend (yay!!) and I think the other one is on the horizon.
He has cried some tears of pain today. Poor boy.
Teething tablets and lots of snuggles are the cure.
(I’m gonna go ahead and get back to that!)
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!
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Finding perspective
The past 6 months have been a blur, but I think I am finally emerging from the haze a little bit.
I finally have somewhat of a predictable schedule with Micah.
He goes to sleep around the same time every night and wakes up around the same time every morning, like clockwork. Every now and then I may get a wake up call around 1am. But most of the time, he’ll fall right back to sleep by the time I get up to check on him.
And our days are becoming more fluid.
I can anticipate naps. When he’s ready to eat baby food. When he needs to nurse.
And for me personally,
I go to the gym twice a week.
Have a weekly bible study with other moms.
I’m teaching guitar lessons.
And hold your breath friends….
I just started a cleaning schedule.
A routine. We have a routine.
And it only took me half a year to get here!
And I say all that, not to boast or give the allusion that I have it all together. Because the truth is I still feel like a child myself, learning right along with Micah.
Sometimes I look at him and just say, “Thanks buddy, for making me a mommy.” And in my heart I whisper to God, “Please help me know how to do this.“
And in so many ways, He has.
And I finally feel like I am finding perspective on this whole mothering blessing.
If there is anything that I can see clearly now looking back on these past 6 months, it’s that everything comes with time.
Don’t rush.
Enjoy the moment.
Embrace every new milestone.
But don’t be surprised if you’re actually sad when it comes.
“They grow so quickly,”
was the number one thing we heard when Micah was born.
And now it’s the number one thing I find myself saying to most new mothers.
Because it’s true.
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I will never be the perfect mom.
One of my worst nightmares happened the other day.
After making breakfast and seeing Josh off to work, I brought Micah back to our room to play on the bed for a little while. He is quite the little roller right now, so I specifically laid him parallel to our headboard and footboard so that if he started to roll he would have a long ways to go before reaching the edge.
And of course, I wasn’t going anywhere.
I was sitting right beside him reading a few emails on my phone.
It was only a couple minutes, when I heard an excited shrill and looked over to see what my little boy was doing. All I saw were his two little feet and butt in the air going head first over the side of the bed.
My heart dropped.
I leaped off the bed, panicking. When I stood over him he was laying completely flat on his back, staring up at me. When he saw my face (and the scream probably didn’t help) he started crying. I picked him up so fast. Shaking and holding him close, I carried him across the house to his room and sat in the rocker cradling him until he calmed down.
After stripping his clothes off to examine every little part of his precious body, he began laughing and kicking like nothing had just happened. There were no bumps, bruises, not even a scratch. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and thanked God for protecting our little boy.
This was probably my first big lesson as a mom – mistakes are going to happen.
No matter how hard I tried to protect him from falling. He still fell. And the scary truth is, he will probably fall down again eventually. And again. And one day he is going to get hurt. Because life is full of mistakes and wrongs and sin.
There is a bit of freedom in realizing that I will never be the perfect mom.
No one can ever be the perfect anything.
Only God is capable of being that perfect, loving Father to Micah. He has entrusted us to care for him and you can bet that I will do the very best I know how with my limited ability. But He has already numbered his days. He already knows the plans He has for Micah. God is ultimately the one protecting and watching over our son.
Whew. That takes a load off of me.
Though I pray that I will never have to endure a heart wrenching moment like that again for awhile, when the time comes (and it will, he’s a boy after all) I am thankful that I have a Heavenly Father to trust in.
I don’t see how any parent could ever survive the pressure without Him.
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