Preparing for Parenting
As a new parent, I’m enjoying the relative ease of being able to share, sing and talk about Jesus with my little boy. There is no pressure, nothing I need to be “politically correct” about. He’s too young to comprehend it all just yet.
But I know the time will come when he will have questions. When he will wonder why we go to church 2-3 times a week, why we pray before we eat, why we sit and read our bibles, why we choose not to drink alcohol and change the channel when sexual images come on TV. I’m sure he will have friends whose parents do things differently and he’ll be tempted to compare. There will be things that we do wrong that we’ll have to apologize for. Soon he will know our flaws.
The statistics of pastor’s kids leaving the faith is even more disheartening. The responsibility to make sure that “doesn’t happen to us,” can seem overwhelming at times.
So with all this in mind, we have given a lot of thought about how we will raise Micah. Not to say we won’t do things differently when the time actually comes, but we’ve thought a lot about how our parents raised us and what we would like to change or do the same.
Here are a few of the ways we are preparing for parenting.
1. Live out our faith at home.
We believe this is one of the greatest things we could do as parents. Showing Micah what it looks like to follow Christ in every area of our life. Being careful not to act one way at church and another at home. Reading the Bible together as a family and making it a priority. Hopefully these things will help Micah see that Jesus is not just a part of our life, He is our life.
2. Admit when we’re wrong.
Showing Micah (and any future children) that we’re not perfect won’t be very hard, he’ll see us make lots of mistakes. But admitting them will make all the difference. And asking forgiveness when we wrong him will be even more important (and I can only imagine, very very hard!) We want our children to see us in the best light. I know I already care what Micah thinks about me and he’s only 8 months old! It’s part of loving someone so much that you never want to do anything to break that bond. But the best way to teach children the gospel, is to show them mommy and daddy need forgiveness too.
3. Train them for righteousness.
We have discussed this one a lot. We’ve heard parents talk about not wanting to “pressure” their children to go to church, to read their Bible, or do anything basically that might make them feel forced to follow Jesus. We understand this and get where the parents are coming from. But we feel a responsibility to train our children to love the Lord and the things of God. And there will be times when they may not want to attend church and we will make them go. We find it ironic that when it comes to school or extracurricular activities, parents have no problem pressuring their kids to make good grades and be the best they can be. But when it comes to faith, we want to sit back and let them decide for themselves. Training involves discipline, and sometimes we need to be pushed to do the right thing.
4. Show love unconditionally.
This one seems easy right now. Nothing Micah could do could make me love him less. Even when he claws my face with those razor sharp nails (Geez! What is it about baby nails?) But what happens when Micah decides to stray from our guidance? And does things that honestly, I can’t even bring myself to write down because of how brokenhearted I feel even imagining it! What happens then? Our love will be what brings him home. No matter how good we parent, the choice is still his to follow Christ. If he strays, we cannot stray from loving him the same or we are preaching that love is earned through action, which is exactly the opposite of the love offered through Jesus Christ. This does not mean we won’t discipline him, we plan to do a lot of spanking in our home (Proverbs 23:13) but it will always be done in love. Even if that means we need to take a few moments to compose ourselves and pray before we do.
Being intentional as parents is important. Sure, our son just learned to crawl and he probably won’t be able to talk his way into trouble for at least a couple more years. But if we don’t begin to plan now for the future, then we’ll resort to being led by our natural tendencies. And let’s just say… mine aren’t too pretty.
Good and Best
I think I need to just go ahead and drop the dream of ever becoming some super-amazing, consistent blogger. It’s just not me. And if in 8 years of blogging I haven’t found a way to master it, it’s not going to ever be me. But really. I don’t see how you daily bloggers, or even 3 times a week bloggers, do it?! Is someone cleaning your house for you? Watching the kids? Cooking dinner? Feel free to share your secrets, because I haven’t figured it out yet.
What I can tell you, is that I am learning more about what it means to let go.
I’m letting go… of feeling like I need to be great at everything.
I’m letting go… of feeling like I need to respond to everyone.
I’m letting go… of feeling the need to know what is going on in everyone’s lives.
I’m letting go… of anything that distracts me from the best things in my life.
Jesus. My husband. My son.
I’ve had to make a few sacrifices recently. Dropping some things that I thought were great, realizing they were only good things distracting me from the best things.
Most of these are personal decisions, like how much time I spend online (and on my iPhone, which I excuse as not actually being “online” but it totally is) and being intentional about being more of a listener to my husband, eye contact and all.
But spiritually-speaking, I have been asking God to show me what He desires for me to be passionate about. Because, let’s be honest… passion is not a value I am lacking. Being passionate about the things that He is passionate about? Well, that’s a different story.
This world sure does “fire me up” (to use my husband’s terminology), but I need to be careful that in my anger towards this world and all the evil in it – I do not become distracted in sharing the greatest news of all. The victory HAS been won! We will not suffer for too much longer.
I want need to focus my attention on things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and excellent (phil 4:8) because God knows that my mind can dwell on the lies, dishonorable, wrong, immoral and evil.
And while the fight against evil is a good cause – the victory over it has already been won in Jesus Christ! And it’s a good cause, not worth compromising for the best message of all – Jesus saves.
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Three.
I got to soak up some time with my two favorite boys this weekend!
Friday night we tried out a new Mediterranean place downtown.
It was Josh and I’s “date night.”
Except it ended up being us trying to keep Micah occupied the entire dinner, while we made uncomfortable glances at each other whenever he would let out a nice, loud shrill!
We probably won’t be attempting that again any time soon. Ha.
But the food was A+ (seriously, one of the best Greek places we’ve been to!)
Saturday morning we enjoyed the beautiful weather and had a picnic at the park.
It was so relaxing.
I just love being together as a family of three.
We don’t have to be doing anything.
Just sitting there together outside on a blanket,
with no distractions,
eating our sandwiches,
was the best part of that day for me. :)
Today, we’re back to our routine.
We are currently battling teething at the moment.
His first little bottom tooth poked through this weekend (yay!!) and I think the other one is on the horizon.
He has cried some tears of pain today. Poor boy.
Teething tablets and lots of snuggles are the cure.
(I’m gonna go ahead and get back to that!)
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!
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Currently
I am currently…
Sitting… in awe of this breathtaking view. We are enjoying a weekend away in Daytona Beach. It’s a little chilly for Florida, high in the upper 60′s. But beautiful, nonetheless.
Watching… Josh out daring the waters in search for the perfect wave (he’s the little dot in the picture above). He loves to surf. And I love to watch safely from the beach. :)
Listening… to the song “Oceans” by Hillsong United. I can’t get over the words and music (not to mention it’s the perfect soundtrack for our little beach getaway).
Laughing at… this video of our student ministry doing the “Harlem Shake.” Have you guys caught on to the latest craze?
Missing… my Alabama friends. But thankful for a Google Hangout with two of them last night (until late late late!)
Inspired by… this girl, her writing and her heart for Jesus. Also got to chat with her on Google+ last night and it’s always a blessing when people just get you.
Looking forward to… my baby turning 6 months on Monday!!! I am cherishing every last moment of him being this little.
What are you guys up to currently?
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Meet the Robinson’s // A wonderful Valentine
// Click here if you missed Part 1 + Part 2 + Part 3 of this series.
Five years ago, I woke up to my morning phone call from Josh. His voice was growing sweeter and more loving each day. But especially this morning on Valentine’s day. He asked, “if I would be his Valentine” and then went on to say he had great plans for us later that afternoon. We talked about the rest of our day and he told me he would plan to pick me up after work around 5pm.
I remember wondering what I would wear. And feeling a little anxious for our first Valentine’s day in Jacksonville. Our very first Valentine’s day was in Graceville and we had only really been “dating” for a month or so. So we kept it pretty low key. And then we were long-distance for our second Valentine’s day. So this was an exciting time to finally be together. I was living with four other girls at the time. Yes, four. So there was plenty of options for clothing.
When the time came for him to pick me up, I felt an anxious/excitement come over me. I had a feeling this was going to be a special date.
It was actually a pretty cold February this year, but we went out to the beach anyway. Josh had a red blanket that he laid down and then spread out rose petals all over it. Yes, quite the romantic. He picked up the guitar that we brought along and started singing “You are so beautiful…” it was very sweet. And funny, because he doesn’t play the guitar.
After he serenaded me for awhile. He then had the great idea to build a sandcastle. I really laughed at this, but then humored him by joining in. I started getting suspicious when he began motioning for me to dig in a certain area where “the sand was really soft” (ok, I was suspicious when he laid the rose petals down, but this threw it over the top!) While digging I came to a shiny, glass bottle poking through the ground. I was nervous to pick it up at first, not knowing what was in it. But Josh was giving me that knowing smile and jokingly saying, “What is with these people and their litter??” I picked it up and saw the sweetest thing – a glass bottle with paper rolled up… a message in a bottle!!!
On the message was a sweet letter with the following,
Dear Cassidy,
Ye come seekin’ treasure, aye? I have traveled many miles looking for my greatest treasure. It has taken many years waiting upon you my love. We have been through some rough seas, but our anchor has always been Jesus Christ. You are the greatest source of joy in my life besides the Lord. I love you and cherish our memories and look forward to the future! Today, tomorrow, forever I will love and cherish you. I have one last question to ask you…
When I looked up, he was on his knee (and so was I actually, from digging in the sand! haha) holding up a ring and asking me to marry him! I immediately said YES and hugged him (and maybe a little kiss or two, in there! ;) )
What a rush of emotions that day was. And they still come flooding back as I type this. Knowing you have finally found the person you will spend your life with is a great blessing. And I am still so so so grateful that he chose Valentine’s Day as the day to do it. We get to celebrate our engagement day every year for the rest of our lives!
After he proposed, I flooded him with questions! Like…did you ask my dad?!?! And WHEN?! haha. He told me he drove down to see my family (two hours away) earlier that week. I could NOT believe that he found some way to sneak down there to ask them! I saw him and talked to him on the phone every single day. That was one of the most impressive things to me. We called our families and celebrated with them over the phone before heading to Carrabba’s to eat dinner.
When we made it back to my house (full of girls!) it was a fun time announcing our engagement and showing off the ring! And lucky us, one of the girls had also gotten engaged recently and had these cute props for us to take a picture with!
This was a day I will never forget. And though it will probably be hard to ever top this Valentine’s Day, we still enjoy celebrating the love we share for each other.
Four months (to the date) later on June 14, 2008… we became “Mr. and Mrs. Robinson.”
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This concludes the “Meet the Robinson” series (for now, at least). I realized after starting this, that it was going to be hard to capture our entire relationship in a blog post. I left out a lot of great stories that I wanted to share. But hopefully I can continue to share our lives with you in this little space – one post at a time. ;) Thanks for reading along!
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