Still My Soul
Words/Music ©2012 Brian Rossi
(Arranged by Cassidy Robinson)

Verse 1:
Broken Hearted
Life’s frustrated
Hopes and dreams, are gone

Tears have fallen
Cries have echoed
Fears and doubts consume

CHORUS:
Still my soul will
Boast in God who
Fills my heart with joy (2x)

Verse 2:
Sorrow spoken
Songs to Heaven
Lord You hear my cry

Loving Father
Mercies promised
Grace that satisfies

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Praise to God
Exalt His Name
Magnify the King
Who hears my cry
Who heals my soul
My broken heart will sing

 
Here is a little bit of Brian’s testimony in writing this song:
 

For me, one of the areas I struggle the most as a human is seeing my family members experience pain and health issues.  My wife has MS and my 8 year old son is a cancer survivor.  I am the worship leader at my church and most of the tunes I’ve written focus on God’s grace and strength in my times of weakness.  I guess I’ve been allowed to experience all of those things with my family so I can have the real life experience that make writing songs like that mean something.

Amen, Brian.
 

I figured there was no better way to celebrate the beginning of this great month than to post the Christmas music I’ve been working on this week. I hope you enjoy listening to some of my favorite Christmas “carols” that so beautifully give a picture of what this winter season is all about. :)

Forewarning, this is not a professional recording in the least bit. If you read my previous post, all of these songs were recorded on my little iPhone 4. I hope to record again (professionally) soon! We are actually working on a worship album at Watermark that will be released this summer. But for all the little songs I’ve written since New Day, I am saving up to record. You can donate towards the cause by leaving a tip when you download my Christmas songs on NoiseTrade. Or you can just download them for free. I just want you to have them!

Happy December and Merry Christmas!

Despite this setback, we still managed to enjoy our time in South Carolina with family. Josh was even willing to take a few photos with me for our Christmas card this year (which just arrived in the mail today! Snapfish is speedy). Bless his heart, he could hardly smile without hurting! I love this guy.

thanks to justin robinson for taking the lovely photos

Speaking of Christmas… I am excited about sharing a little acoustic Christmas EP I’ve been working on this week! Someone asked me if I would record a Christmas album for them a few weeks ago. I immediately got excited, because I love Christmas music! But, I had no idea how I could even possibly record anything in such a short time (anything, well good, I mean). So instead of stressing over it – I decided I would just do mp3′s of what I usually do for my youtube videos. Live acoustic covers. I’ll be putting it up on Noisetrade for free at the end of the week (hopefully!) so be looking for it then! But for now… I will leave you with the track listing. I tried to cover more obscure Christmas songs that not a lot of people know. And then of course, some of my traditional favorites. The best part about this? It was completely recorded on my handy, dandy… iPhone! Ha! I downloaded garageband on my phone and just played around with it. Surprisingly, it worked! I titled this EP “iCHRISTmas” for two reasons: 1) It was recorded on the “iPhone” so I wanted the trademark “i” in there and 2) CHRIST is bigger than i. This season is all about Him.

I love a good singer, but my favorite artists are those who write their own music. I’m more inspired by words than vocal runs.  -@cassidyrobinson

This is so so true for me. I would choose to pop in Taylor Swift over Carrie Underwood on a car ride home, just because I know for a fact that I am hearing Taylor’s heart when she sings. But, there’s no question Carrie is the better singer. This thought has me thinking – when it comes to my music, are people hearing my heart?

Sometimes I shy away from saying the whole truth, because I am afraid of what people may think. I know, really? But it’s true. I want to protect my family. I want to honor them. I want to respect the good that has been shown to me. So I avoid writing about the real dirt.

We all have it though. And sometimes I wonder if hiding this does any good? Doesn’t it help to sometimes get it out?

There’s a fine line between writing for the sake of writing, and writing for the sake of healing. I want to write for healing. If there is one goal I have for my music – it is that God is glorified through my joy, sorrow and pain. And if someone hears my song, I hope they hear my heart over the vocals.

I leave you now, with an oldie but goodie.

Goodbye 

I stare across the floor
I know that I’ve been here before
It’s like losing you, again
And I can’t take the violins

They play the same tune
We sing the same song
About a memory that’s gone
And it feels just like goodbye
But I know you’re on the other side

I pass you on the street
I see you in everyone I meet
You’re like the wind beneath my hair
I feel you and know you are

There when I’m down
There when I’m fighting hope
Your voice is an echo
And I’m not gonna say goodbye
Cause I know you’re on the other side

And there’s too many heartbreaks
And too many tragedies
To fight it alone in this life
Oh, God I need You
Til I’m on the other side

p.s. I’ve finally added a few ways to follow this blog, just scroll on over to the right and look for – google friend connect, bloglovin and email subscription. 

p.p.s. 11/18/11 thankful list…

11. long trips in the car with my husband
12.  the music of needtobreathe, switchfoot & coldplay (the soundtrack to our roadtrips)
13.  sleep
14. my guitar
15. smuckers uncrustables pb&j sandwiches (the perfect travel snack)
16.  plenty of clothing to wear
17.  my iphone (the perfect travel companion, next to the hubs)
18.  a week of vacation
19.  our reliable “family” vehicle (Chevy Equinox)
20.  ministry opportunities

One of the reasons I started putting up videos on youtube…
was because of a young girl named Kina Grannis.
If you watch youtube frequently, I guarantee you’ve probably run across one of her videos.
I first “discovered” her in 2007.
She entered one of her original songs in a “Crash the Superbowl” contest.
And found unique ways to promote herself!
One of those was writing a song, “Gotta Digg” about the growing social platform.
Her audience grew and she won the CTS contest
as well as a major record deal.
Not too soon after, however, she left the label.
She wanted independent control of her music and desired to reach out to her fans in a more personal way.
Since then, she has worked harder than any artist I know!
And she seems to love every minute of it.
If I had to explain the youtube community to you…
it would be sort of like the blogging world. 
You find other youtubers that you look up to.
And you gain wisdom from them on how to grow your community.
I learned from Kina -
and she took time to encourage me by leaving comments on my channel.
Yesterday, she was featured on Ellen and finally received some national exposure!
I have always been blown away by her music,
but her newest music video has me speechless.
Literally.
It is an entire video made from… JELLY BEANS!!!
You have to see this.
I wonder how many jelly beans were eaten in the process? :)

Watch the “Making of – In Your Arms” first!

And a HUGE shout out to the director of this video: Greg Jardin
(that guy has TALENT… and patience).

p.s. I’m 7 subscribers away from 2,000 on my youtube channel!!
join here: http://youtube.com/cacity87 

Today was a good day.
I felt so much better after a rough night last night.
(I had to take one of the heavy painkillers from the doctor – that’s when you know it’s a rough night)
I have enjoyed being back with the students at school this week.
While I was there today, I had the urge to sit at the piano and write.
I don’t really play piano and I haven’t really had anything to write about lately, so this was odd.
But once I sat down, I was again reminded of the loss that our town has been experiencing lately.
We lost another one today.
I didn’t know him, but many close to us did.
When I think about this pain of losing loved ones, my heart is torn out of my chest.
I believe the Lord offers so much comfort and grace in those times of need, and I know He will provide that for me when the time eventually comes.
(because it is true, death is coming for us all)
But I just cannot imagine it now.
I can literally bring myself to tears thinking about losing Josh, my sister and my parents.
But I know it’s going to happen.
(unless, I go first)
So I wrote this (very) short song with that in mind.
One day I’m going to need to sing this.
Even now I can sing it thinking about my dear friends who are dealing with the pain of loss.
And when people come up and ask “how are you doing?” I am sure the words will go something like this…

**please excuse the rough singing, I am just getting my voice back after being sick with a virus (and the surgery didn’t help much! ha)

Pain – Cassidy Robinson

since you’re gone
nothing’s right
only wrong
(2x)

no i can’t explain
how i feel in the pain
no i can’t explain
how i feel in the pain
of losing you, ooh.

In honor of this, I felt it was time I featured another “Behind the Music” post. This one is probably my second hardest to write (see the first here). The fifth track on the album, Everything, is dedicated to my brother-in-law, Jordan.

It was two months and four days after Josh and I were married that his younger brother, Jordan ended his battle with cancer. He received the ultimate healing. It was so difficult to see him in this type of pain. Jordan was strong and healthy, a basketball player at NGU and only 20 years old. We made it up to visit him about two weeks before he passed away, and were blessed to spend some good days watching movies, laughing and talking. He received lots of gifts during those days. I can remember one time specifically, when he received this “Sudoku” handset game. I was sitting in the room with him while he opened it. Attempting to be enthusiastic about his new gift, I told him that I loved that game! I remember he looked at it and then handed it to me and said, “Here, you can have it.” I tried to refuse, but he insisted that I keep it. Even in his sickness, he was still giving to others. It’s just the person he was. I never really play it, but I keep this little gift from Jordan as a reminder on my bookshelf.

     NGU Basketball, 2007                                                       Wedding day, 2008

That first Christmas we spent together with the Robinson’s was hard. It was wonderful being with them, because they are such a comforting and encouraging family to be around, but it was hard to know there was someone missing. Even more difficult, Josh and I were now sleeping in Jordan’s old room.

I sat on the bed alone one afternoon, just thinking. Jordan has everything.

We think of death and often refer to it as, the “loss of life.” But, the Scripture teaches us that death is gain. Looking around Jordan’s room, I saw all of his earthly possessions still in their place. Clothes, games, electronics. Some of the most valuable things to us here on earth. And they are just… things. The truth is, he gained everything the day he met his Savior, Jesus Christ face to face. In the presence of the fullness of joy. Nothing can compare.

This song was written in those quiet moments of reflection. We will all leave this earth eventually and stand before Jesus. Will we leave having filled ourselves with empty possessions or with all of Christ? Jordan chose what was best.

Everything

In my weakness
You are strength and life
In my doubt
You are my faith to fight
In my sickness
You are hope to breathe

In my loneliness
You’re everything to me
Everything

When I’m barely hanging on
You’re there
When I’m too afraid to call
You answer
When I feel like hope is lost
You speak

In my dying breath
You’re everything to me
Everything

When I leave this world
And all tomorrows
When I leave this world
Of pain and sorrow
When I stand by You
With nothing left

I will still hold in my heart
Everything, You’re everything

Click here to listen:

Purchase “Everything” here. 

I was challenged by these lyrics, “Living for the lost. Loving til it hurts.” We should live so that people come to know Jesus! I was talking to someone today about church and realized that it’s easy to leave out the most important part of why we meet together every Sunday – the CROSS. I don’t share that enough. And usually I don’t consider love to be something that hurts, but it really can. Loving others the way Christ loves us, means loving them when they pay no attention to us, turn their back on us, cut in front of us in the Chik-fil-a drive through line (yes, that happened tonight) and take advantage of us. We are used by people. So is Jesus. We still need to love them.

“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

- Jesus (John 13:35)

So I was able to catch up on reading a few blogs, respond to emails and ahhh… sit down with my guitar for a little songwriting.
It didn’t go so well.
I kept writing in circles, and that always gets me frustrated. I would write a verse I liked, but couldn’t decide a chorus that would fit. Then I’d write a chorus I liked, but no verses would come. So finally I stopped writing.

Later, I read a post by one of my favorite worship leaders, Vicky Beeching, about writing worship songs with no substance. She brought up some really great points.

“This might sound harsh, and it probably is, but I feel like as the modern worship movement gets older and older we are churning out a lot of the same words, when frankly they are so over-used, that their impact and meaning is diluted and tired.“

This is exactly why I stopped writing today. I could have come up with something… spout out a few of the same ole words that I know rhyme together… but it would have been (excuse me, Kanye) heartless. That’s the opposite of what a worship song should be. Her post made me think that perhaps there isn’t a standard of what a modern worship song “should” sound or look like. If I begin to think that way… am I not sinking back into traditionalism? So the next time I sit down to write, I am going to branch out a bit. Maybe I won’t have two verses, a chorus and a bridge. But it will still be a worship song to my God. And more importantly, it will come from the heart.

“We don’t set out to write secular songs or Christian songs. We write what comes out. I think that says a lot for us as a band. We don’t have to make Christian songs because we are on a major label and it’s not expected that we do so. We make them because that’s who we are and that’s what we are about. I think people appreciate us singing about something that’s important.” - Bear Rinehart (lead singer)

That said, they have really made a splash in the Christian market and have seen several hits on the Christian charts with, “Washed By the Water” “Something Beautiful” The Outsiders” and “Lay Em Down.” They’ve even won several Dove Awards. Just recently, they were offered an opportunity of a lifetime to open for mega-superstar, Taylor Swift. I think it says something that she handpicked them to join her on tour (gotta say, Taylor girl… you have great taste). Their previous album “The Outsiders” has been playing in my car for over a year now. You can ask my husband. We just took it out today to replace it with… “The Reckoning.” And after nearly five complete listenings in one day, I can tell you it is there to stay. Now for a little review of each track.

1. Ooh’s and Aah’s – Ok, not going to lie… this opener through me for a loop. I did not expect such a forceful rock song to come from the more bluesy/soulful rock I had come to love. This is also their first song written in a minor key. It’s not bad, just different. And are those trumpets I’m hearing at the end?? Ooh… aah. :)

2. White Fences – On my first listen-through I loved the powerful and catchy chorus. But I knew there had to be more to the lyrics than I was comprehending. “You leave me in the dark. Recounting all my sins. You put words in my mouth. But who is gonna mend these white fences?” Sometimes the best songs are those left for interpretation by the listener. Feel free to take a stab at it in the comments. I’m still working on mine.

3. Drive All Night – This is my favorite intro so far. Love the driving feel… sort of gives a nod at the title, don’t ya think? It has a Coldplay-esque build up around the :50 mark which I absolutely love. It’s easy to see why this song was their second single released from the album. It’s incredibly catchy. Favorite lyric? “Beg the book to turn the page, cause I get stuck where the villains get away. Somewhere in this wretched tale there must be a line, where the victim gets his way just one time.”

4. A Place Only You Can Go –  Even though lead singer, Bear’s voice is definitely full of a rocky growl, I love when he sings ballads. There is something beautiful in the contrast. Bagpipes and fiddles galore in this one. After listening to the entire album one time through, this song was still ringing in my mind. It’s only fault is that it’s too short. Very powerful. “Oh I know this song won’t do, enough to prove my love to you. In my heart you’ll always know, there is a place only love can go. There is a place only you can go.” Can’t speak for Bear, but this song sounds like a prayer to the Lord. And judging from their past prayer-like tunes (i.e. Garden) I wouldn’t doubt it for a second.

5. Slumber – This was the first single released from this album. Definitely a fun, upbeat jam. I’ve loved it for months, so it’s like an old friend to me now. I’ve thought about setting this song for my alarm clock on my phone. “Wake on up from your slumber. Baby, open up your eyes.“ Fitting, no? :)

6. The Reckoning – Title track time! Better live up to it… “Goin to California, suitcase in my hand. Never run away a boy, when you can walk away a man.” Thud. Talk about a good lyric. I love it! The song is all about making those decisions in life that lead you into adulthood. And I can’t tell you how much I relate to the line, “A journey through the purpose, the weight of when it’s worthless.” Especially in regard to chasing musical aspirations.

7. Able- So if APOYCG was ringing in my head after the first listen-through, this one was ringing in my head after the second, third and fourth. I can’t get over this song. It has the feel of an old spiritual, “Though I feel I’m strong enough to carry all this load… I’m not able, I’m not able, I’m not able on my own.” Amen.

8. Maybe They’re On To Us – This song has me baffled musically. I was straight up feeling nostalgic from the very first beat. First, it reminded me of a Backstreet Boys song, “The Call” (I think it was the affect on the vocals). But then, even weirder… the musical progression in the chorus reminded me of “The Thong Song.” I’m not even joking. It took me forever to figure out, but it finally came to me. Listen and tell me it isn’t so. Needless to say, I’ve been distracted trying to place where I’d heard the hook before that I haven’t really focused on the lyrics much. It sounds intense, whatever is going on. (p.s. please don’t go listen to the thong song for all those born after 1995 and have no clue what I’m talking about. you don’t want to, trust me.)

9. Wanted Man - Love the airy feel of this one. The first time I heard the echo after Bear sings, “I’m a wanted man” in the chorus and then shouts, “so come and get me” was a chill-inducing moment. Love that it feels like a musical reaction rather than a forced statement. This is another track with Coldplay-esque features including the “woah’s” in the background towards the end. And even though I think I compare every rock band to Coldplay in some way, there are definitely some strong musical similarities between these two.

10. Keep Your Eyes Open – Nothing else to say here except – epic anthem.

11. Tyrant Kings – This song is slowly becoming one of my favorites. I think I love the overall sound of this the best. Starting slow and building up to quite a powerful chorus, “Still I’m feeling like a vagrant in my own town. I’m like an awkward conversation. All of this work and I ain’t seein any wages. I ain’t gonna stop until I do.” I would assume this song is about Bear and his band-member/brother Bo, traveling and doing what they love at the cost of not having a real place to call home anymore. The second verse is what really gives me this idea, “More times than not the ones you love are who you let down. We’re chasing something big our parents never tracked down. The hardest part is looking back and making sense of the humble tries and troubled times of where we came from.” This one only gets better with each listen.

12. Devil’s Been Talkin’ – I can definitely relate to this one. I’ve opened my mouth when I wish I hadn’t. “Bag of bones and blood red cheeks, guilty from the words I speak. Say the truth will set you free, but it won’t for me.” This has a cool feel with the sounds of mandolins, pianos, tamborines, and electric guitars and a full drum set. This is one great mixture musically, with a message lyrically.

13. Angel At My Door – Is Bear Rinhart married? If not, this is totally about him wanting to find his wife. If he is married… well then, he has some explaining to do. :)

14. Learn to Love – *cheesy moment alert* This is my new love song to Josh. :) It is just beautiful. And I love the addition of a female background voice. This is the final song on the album and it leaves me feeling musically complete. I don’t think Bear’s voice has ever sounded better.

Family Friendly Rating: 1. Great music with meaning, for the young and old.

(1 – very friendly; 10 – mature)