I stumbled across a journal entry I wrote on January 31, 2013... over two years ago. While reading it, the reality struck me that I could have very well written these same words today. So I am. 

 

I look around.

I see the worship of things.

I see the worship of image. 

Glam, chic, hipster, vintage... the value that is placed on falling into one of those categories. 

The close up shots of boots, leggings, nail polish.

 "Did you know that was a thing?" My sister asked me while painting her toe nails. 

"Nail polish?" I asked. 

"Yes," she said. "It's the rage." 

(There it is... another one of those words that make me cringe. And since when did nail polish become a thing anyway?) 

Since it became something to worship, that's when.

 

I look around.

I see the worship of things.

I see the worship of self.

The approval of others, is that all we seek now?

The likes, the comments, the follows, the retweets, the favorites. 

Is that what we live for?

How sad that we have limited our lives to a click of a button. 

We are friends with a square photograph.

But it's all a game. 

This is not real life.

Those friends are not your friends.

Friends are those standing beside you when your mom has been diagnosed with cancer.

Friends are those holding your newborn baby.

Friends are those bringing you a meal when you're too emotionally exhausted to cook.

Friends hug.

Friends laugh.

Friends hold your hand to pray.

 

I look around.

My heart is disgusted at myself for envying this world and everything in it.

For worshiping things that are ridiculous. 

Like clothes. 

Like people. 

For believing I need to fit into a category.

For believing that there is something better than just being ordinary. 

For my Savior was born to the most ordinary of people. 

And he died in the most humiliating way. 

And sometimes I'm humiliated at how I tramp on his holiness. Who cares that I did my bible study while eating my morning breakfast?! If it was really all about Jesus and praying alone in my closet, then why Instagram a picture?

There is so much I probably shouldn't have said here. And there is probably so much more I could say. But this is what goes on in my unedited and unscripted head. 

And this is the song that gives me peace from all the chaos...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.