Last night I tucked my little boy Micah into bed, prayed over him and then walked out of his room and shut the door behind me. It was only minutes later when he came running out of the room with tears in his eyes saying, "Mommy, it's too dark!" I walked back in his room, shut the door behind me and sat on the bed with him to get a perspective of how dark the room really was. He held on to me tightly as we sat and stared into the empty, black space.

It was kind of creepy in there.

He has these sliding glass "mirror" doors that conceal his closet, but are directly across from his bed capturing our oddly-shaped reflections. He has an old-school TV and DVD player, that make weird cracking noises. Not to mention, his bedroom is on the farthest side of our house next to a giant tree with birds and crickets and other indistinguishable creatures lurking right outside the window. 

I felt my own fear starting to rise. And then quickly summoned the name of Jesus and assured Micah that He is watching over us and we have nothing to fear. I turned on a hall light and that helped give him enough peace to fall asleep shortly after that. 

I started to think about the fact that we are all born with an awareness of evil. I did not have to teach my son, Micah, to be afraid. If anything, we have avoided anything scary and have overly encouraged him to be brave. Yet, he still fears the dark.  

And the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that we never really grow out of being afraid - but we grow in faith. 

The evil in this world scares me. If I dwell on it too much, it actually torments my soul. I could lie awake all night thinking of all the evil things that could happen (and I have) but instead I have chosen to grow in faith. Grow in faith that there is a Creator who is working out evil for good. That even though evil entered this world, in the garden, and destroyed the perfect plan God had for His creation - it will one day be PERFECT again.  

When I hear about tragedies, like the shooting that took place in Charleston last week, it is an opportunity for me to continue to feed the fear and sit in the dark or rest in faith and turn a light on. 

Now I'll be honest, I've been sitting in the dark for a few days. Listening to the noise around me - blaming racism, blaming gun laws, blaming flags. Becoming more afraid by the hour.

But it's time to turn on the light. I'm here to say, this evil CAN be turned to good. And praise the Lord, it already is. 

Did you read or hear about how the families of the Charleston shooting victims are offering forgiveness to the gunman? Now go back and find the source of that news report.

National news is talking about forgiveness. And not just any forgiveness, but the forgiveness that comes from God. Just read this article by USA today. 

And you can call the gunman a racist... but don't tell me we live in a racist society when the church service on Sunday at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church looked like THIS:

Such a wonderful sight to see brothers and sisters gathered together in the name of Jesus.

Too often we sit in the dark and fear the evil. Dwelling on everything wrong with the world. And trust me, it's the easy thing to do. No one has to teach us to be afraid.

But all it takes is a perspective shift, to get up and turn on a light and rest in faith. And remember, God is working it all for good. We don't have to be afraid of the dark. 

This Mother's Day will be my third year celebrating being a mom while holding a sweet baby in my arms. But my first true "official" Mother's Day was actually May 13, 2012, when I was 23 weeks pregnant with our little boy, Micah Jordan. 

Sure, I may not have given birth or actually changed a diaper yet. And believe it or not, those were things that made me doubt that I was qualified to celebrate in the presence of other, veteran moms. But my body was sustaining a life other than my own. It was already putting someone else's needs before myself. And isn't that truly what being a mom is all about anyway?

I have been thinking back a lot this week on my journey to motherhood.

It wasn't as easy or predictable as I had hoped. It was a journey filled with (more) prayer and (more) patience (than I necessarily wanted). Some of you may have read along with me as I blogged through what was surely one of the more difficult seasons of my life. But it's amazing to me now as I look over at our family photo... and see not only one, but two baby faces. And I truly believe that they are answers to our prayers and many of yours as well.

God is faithful. 

But even if I had never been able to have children physically, I hope I would still be celebrating Mother's Day this weekend. Because long before Micah and Hannah were even a thought, God placed a desire in my heart for them. And I believe wholeheartedly that Josh and I would have found a way to, somehow, become parents. 

Because the road to just getting pregnant was tough for us, I think that's why I so passionately considered myself a mom when I finally did. Yes, the love that I experienced was incredibly different the moment I laid eyes on both of my children at delivery. But the love I have for them now is growing with every step they take and every word they say. I am sure I won't be the same mom I am now, when they graduate high school and get married one day. 

And this is why I consider every pregnant woman a mother and will be wishing her a "Happy Mother's Day" this weekend. 

And every mom who has adopted a little one or is in the process of adopting a child, "Happy Mother's Day."

Every mom who has raised her brothers or sisters or nieces or nephews or humbly stepped in when another mom has stepped out, "Happy Mother's Day." 

And to every mom who may not get to see her child again until they reunite in heaven, "Happy Mother's Day."

Being a mom is not something we have to "earn." Some moms didn't ask for it, wish for it, or want it. And some moms prayed, waited and sacrificed for it. Some carried a baby for nine months. And some met their child long after they were born. 

Whether you became a mom by traditional means or unconventional methods - the cause is not as important as the role you are playing in a child's life. On Mother's Day, it's not "how" you became a mom that is celebrated, it's that you are one. 

Happy Mother's Day to you all. 

Last week I wrote a post about the "statement that changed my life forever." A story of how God opened my eyes, as a young mother, to the flaw that occurs in comparing our lives to other women. I knew it was going to be one of those vulnerable posts for me, where I admit the areas in which I struggle and confess that I definitely do not have it all together. But I wasn't expecting the overwhelming response I received from so many other women who were touched by it!

I definitely hoped that other women would be able to relate. And I prayed that they would find comfort in the fact that even the Proverbs 31 woman couldn't do it all alone.

But after seeing the response, it only affirmed in my heart what I had already been experiencing... the comparison trap is real. And moms want to know that we are all in this together.

One of the things I mentioned in my previous post was that we needed to stop comparing and start helping each other. And that's a lot easier said than done, I realize. So after a couple conversations with some of my other mom friends this weekend, I came up with a few suggestions that I think would definitely help a mother out. 

1) Don't be afraid to hold our baby. Yes, we love our babies. And yes, we know that our baby prefers "mama" over most anybody else. But our hands get numb, our backs have a constant ache and I promise if you hold our baby for one minute, we will forget all about the pain. (Hold them for five minutes and we might actually get to pee!)  

2) When you give a gift, do not expect a thank you card in return. And if you really cannot live without the acknowledgement, then the best gift you could give a mom would be to NOT give her a gift at all. The hours it takes to address, lick and stamp an envelope (not to mention, writing the card thanking them for a gift you already opened and thanked them for in-person - talk about redundant) could be used to do something more meaningful for their family (like, cook dinner). 

3) Extend an invitation for a play date.  Adult conversation while the kids play with their friends and wear themselves out before nap-time? Yes, please. (And on the flip-side, if you are a mom who has never accepted an invitation to a play date - then you need to help the mother out who is extending one.)  

4) Offer to entertain an older sibling for a little while. If you know a mom who is juggling more than one child, especially if there is an age gap, offer to take the older sibling out for the day. Each child has different needs, and while one may need to stay inside close to mom (to nap, nurse, or recover from sickness) the other may be bouncing off the walls in need of outdoor playtime.

5)  Step-in when one parent is unavailable. There are times when it really helps to have two parents in the picture - such as, doctor visits for mom and baby. Not only to physically entertain the baby, but also to offer support for the parent (shots are NO fun!) If you know a mom who happens to be doing these visits alone - offer to accompany her on one. I can guarantee you she won't mind the support (mentally, emotionally and physically).

6)  Offer to babysit for free. Like mentioned above, sometimes doctor visits are necessary for mom too. And sometimes the doctor visits fall during inconvenient hours for the baby (nap time, lunchtime, etc) Paying for a babysitter to keep the baby at home AND paying for a doctor visit can end up really hurting the family budget (and probably lead to more subsequent doctor visits due to stress). If you can ever afford to bless a mom with free-babysitting it is greatly appreciated, but especially under these circumstances. 

7)  Be an errand-buddy.  There are times when a mom needs to "run in and run out" of a store, post-office, etc and the thought of lugging the kids in and out of the car is enough to keep them from ever leaving the house. Bless that mama who needs a day to do this, by being her errand buddy in the front seat. Maybe take this a step further and encourage the mama to do some shopping for herself, by offering to be the one who stands outside the dressing room with her kids while she's trying on outfits for that fabulous, post-baby body. Pick a day when you already need to run errands yourself. That way you both win. ;)

8) Acts of service. Bring a meal, do her dishes, organize the pantry, etc. I still remember coming home to find my pantry organized one day - I thought someone broke into our home and stole all of our food because there was so much more room in our pantry when empty boxes were thrown out and cans were stacked on top one another! Anyway, a thoughtful neighbor and an organized pantry can do wonders for the mom who is feeling overwhelmed.

9) Give her grace. If you are the friend of a mom, sister of a mom or even the mom of a mom... have realistic expectations about your relationship. Give her grace when she doesn't return your phone call or text. Remember to never take for granted the time you have together. And give her grace for the times she doesn't have it all together. 

And finally, I can't go without saying... 

10) Keep advice to yourself. If not directly asked for - advice can sometimes be taken as "you are doing it wrong, so let me tell you how to do it right." Which is exactly the kind of thinking that encourages comparison in the first place. Unless it's advice on how to help a mother out, of course - then keep sharing away! ;)

If nothing else, hopefully these suggestions triggered your mind to begin looking for practical ways to help mothers around you. I have been SO blessed with people in my life that have done all of these things in one way or another. Could I have survived on my own without anyone's help? Sure (hashtag, womanpower). But I definitely would not be thriving as I am today. Because, I cannot do it all. But thank you Jesus, with the help of loving friends and family, I don't have to.