A little over a month ago, I wanted to quit all of it. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, this blog... I wanted it gone. I was tired of feeling obligated to update with pictures and posts of what was going on in my life. Maybe because my every day routines involved household chores and poopy diapers (which I'm so THANKFUL for and wouldn't have it any other way!) Or maybe because I just didn't feel like I had much to offer anymore. I've heard this is normal for stay-at-home moms, but I seriously started to feel an identity crisis coming on.

"I'm going to get rid of it." "No! Don't! You have family and friends all over the country that want to stay connected." "I'll just delete Facebook." "But that is where you have the most interaction!" "I'll just scale back on how much I post." "How will you decide what's important enough to share?"  

I went back and forth with myself for days.

And every time I thought about shutting everything down, the word "influence" kept resonating within my heart. "You have influence." God? Was that you?

I talked with Josh about it. And I prayed continually. Why did I feel this war within me to make social networking an "all or nothing" deal? I couldn't understand why I needed to know the "why" behind using Facebook, Twitter, etc. or else I was ready to give it up.

Then I heard about The Influence Network. And wow... it all made sense! The site just launched yesterday. And after reading the first post, I knew I needed to join! The post could have been written from my heart. Here is just a snippet.

When it gets really quiet and we’re faced with the scary questions like – is my time online a waste? - we have three choices. We can stick our fingers in our ears and check out and keep going the way we’re going regardless of the effect our behavior has on the world around us. We can have a knee jerk reaction and quit all the things – shut everything down and smash our laptops and iPhones and cancel our internet, all in the name of intentionality and real-life living. OR – we come together, as a community, and work it out – we can band together and make sure that what we’re doing is valuable, that we are leveraging the influence God has given us for good and not futile works. That’s what The Influence Network is about.

I was struggling through the first two choices - ignoring the possibility of number three. This network and it's mission is exactly what I have been praying for. And I don't believe it's a coincidence that God laid the word "influence" on my heart, long before I knew this network even existed.

Maybe you've been asking yourself some of these same questions. Maybe you've wanted to quit it all a few times too. I hope that reading this has you encouraged, that instead of quitting, you can use your resources to further His kingdom! Join the Influence Network, start a blog or just be intentional in what you share online. People are watching. People need community. If they don't find it in the people of God - they will find it somewhere.

I bring to you... a new parent's dream social app:

Basically, it's Instagram with videos.

And it's my favorite thing to use lately with Micah! Because a picture  can only capture so much. But videos  are like rewinding moments in life.

Of course, people will think it's stupid for awhile. Why do I want to take videos? I never use videos. A lot of people said the same thing about Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest... And look where we are today. So, go ahead and jump on the bandwagon now.

Follow me on Telly.

Here are a few videos I've taken the past couple weeks. You can add filters too! Whaaaaa?? So cool.

 Micah's tired of laying around, he's ready to play sports.

A little snippet from practice for this weekend's Christmas services

Pacifier training... Micah wants no part.

This morning I got up, went to the bathroom, grabbed my phone from the charger and laid back down in bed to scroll through my social media apps. My recent Facebook status had gotten "54 likes" (it was about my growing belly not fitting in a booth, people find self-deprecating humor funny), my latest Instagram, "22 likes" (that's a little disappointing, it was about VOTING people... come on now!) and "0" replies/retweets on Twitter (biggest disappoint of all, where's the tweet-love??)

All joking aside... there is some truth behind the value I place on myself because of social media.

While it may not be an outspoken thing, I believe many people are basing their worth on how many Facebook/Twitter/Instagram likes, follows and retweets they get. At the root of all people is the desire to be accepted. Growing up, we found our worth in who we were friends with or what boy/girl liked us that week. Times have changed, but the heart of it all is still the same. At least back then, I was the only person that knew how many people invited me to their birthday party or told me they liked my new hair cut. Now we have a device that measures the exact quantity for us. I read an article just this morning on "Why My Kids Won't Use Social Media Anytime Soon" and I completely agree (and kids or not, I highly encourage you to read it too!)

Now many of you may try and deny that social media has any real affect on you. And that's fine. But ask yourself this ONE thing, "Is checking Facebook, Twitter and/or Instagram a part of my daily routine?" If the answer is yes, then it has affected you. In fact, dictionary.com claims that the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice is called an addiction. For me, personally, this addiction runs deep. I now check my phone before grabbing my Bible. Anything that we put before God, is an idol.

Now I will be the first to say that social media, in of itself, is not bad. In fact, I am a huge advocate of using it as a tool to further spread the Gospel and network with other people. I believe it can be used for so much good! Which is why this idol is so easily disguised and rationalized in my life. 

It disgusts me that I cannot find a healthy balance. But I am making progress.

Josh and I refuse to take out our phones when we're out to eat. The only exception is if we are taking a picture of each other (or of you know, our food, to Instagram later). And starting... today, tomorrow... I will be grabbing my Bible instead of reaching for my iPhone to check in the mornings.

Little steps. I may not be on the road to recovery yet, but I hope to be. And instead of going cold-turkey and deleting every social app I have, I find it healthier to repent and learn to walk in the truth that my value and worth is found only in my Savior.