Waiting
Waiting seems to be the theme of my life right now. I haven't talked about this much publicly, but Josh and I have been praying about having children soon. I guess you could say we stopped "hindering" things about 8 months ago. Started to actually "time" things about 4 months ago. And well, basically we're still waiting. :) The Lord is the giver of life, and we are patient that it will happen in his timing. I guess I just assumed that as soon as we started trying... things would move right along. It's strange to say, but waiting gives us both a sense of doubt - "Will we ever have children of our own?" and a sense of faith - "God, you know what you're doing."
Waiting has also been a theme when it comes to pursuing a career in music. Right now, I am a music teacher. But the desire of my heart, since I began following Christ as a young girl, has always been to travel and sing. Every time I think a door is opening for this to happen, I am left with more... waiting. I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with a record label last month and discuss the music business, what it takes to be a successful artist, where I fit as far as my commercial appeal, songwriting, etc. goes. I learned that I still have a lot of growing to do, even at 24... and here I am thinking I'm getting old. Which makes the waiting even harder.
Probably the most difficult waiting I have in my life right now, is the separation from family. Josh and I live six hours from his side of the family and four hours from mine. And with our consistently busy lives, we rarely get a chance to spend quality time with the ones we love most. It's difficult. And even more difficult when holidays come around. We usually make the trip up to South Carolina to visit the Robinson's, but since I never know what state my dad will be in (with his job) and my parents live in two different houses, it's hard to make plans with both of them. Waiting to see them again can seem like forever.
I don't mean to sound pitiful. Haha. We have so much to be grateful for. And Josh and I have really grown in our relationship and dependence on the Lord and each other. I couldn't be more thankful for my husband, he's just one example of something that I waited 21 years for the Lord to provide... and he matched every prayer and hope I dreamed for. This makes the waiting in life easier, looking back on all God has brought me through so far.
I hope you enjoy this song I wrote in honor of this time of my life.
Waiting
Another morning, I wake up praying for a sign Another day has come and gone The months roll on and on And it's still not my time
And while the waiting is hard And knowing this part of Your plan is not my own I am never alone
Another busy day at work, is this all that I'm worth Counting pennies in a car? And I dream to leave this small town And see a bigger world But will I ever get that far?
And while the waiting is hard And knowing this part of Your plan is not my own I am never alone
Oooh, ooh
Sitting on a quiet porch, the family all indoors About to say goodbye Twice a year is not enough To see the ones you love Oh the distance is too wide
And while the waiting is hard And knowing this part of Your plan is not my own I am never alone
And while the waiting is hard You have brought me this far And if there's one thing I know... I am never alone