Today's post title probably comes across a bit harsh. I'm sorry about that. I just really couldn't find a better way to put it. For years I have watched as friend after friend chase the dream of being famous. Becoming somebody. Having lots of "fans" or "followers." Making lots of money. Whatever the end result, it seems that more is never enough. It's a bug that has hit our society hard. But more than ever before, it has hit Christians.

photo by Dustin Beno

The fame bug.

I caught it when I was about eight years old. I grew up singing in church, specifically children's choir. It was at this age that I had my first solo in one of the productions. It was the first verse of "Jesus Paid it All." One verse is all it took. Someone came up to me afterwards and said, "They should have let you hold on to that mic longer!" What they probably meant as a small word of encouragement to a young, timid girl, were the words that began feeding the bug. 

And let me tell you, that bug grew a hefty size.

I went on to receive lead roles in several productions, year after year, until I graduated from children's choir. And suddenly I found myself in bigger venues - festivals, talent shows, sporting events, really anywhere I could. And there was always someone, somewhere coming up to me at the end to feed the bug. 

"You should go on American Idol!" "You should move to Nashville!" "Why haven't you been discovered yet?!"

These words planted deep within my heart and I started to believe them.

Starving the bug.

While I wrestled with the bug feeders and their many words of "encouragement," I spent much time in prayer asking God what exactly He wanted me to do.

I had just turned sixteen years old and had the opportunity to audition for American Idol. Yet, the more time I spent praying and reading God's word, the more I realized that the "American Idol" dream was not the dream God had for me. So I turned down the opportunity, much to my parent's and everyone else's dismay.

In that decision, I felt so much peace. I had stopped feeding the bug. 

A new appetite.

From that point on, I became hungry. That nasty, little bug had eaten away at so many parts of my soul, I was literally starving spiritually. I began feeding myself with God's truth.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ." - Philippians 3:7

"So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last." - Matthew 20:16

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." - Colossians 3:2

It became obvious to me that seeking anything temporary, like fame, was simply going to distract me from my calling as a believer to make disciples.

Now, let me be clear. This choice wasn't always obvious for me. It was difficult, it was confusing, and a few times I had myself convinced that I could do more for the kingdom if I was "famous." Because that's what I was told - if only my "platform" was larger, I could reach more people.

But I had a problem with that statement.

Because, what exactly would I be doing to reach these people? You know, other than sing for them?

I'm not denying the power of God to minister to someone through music. Trust me, if anyone is a believer, I am. But what I don't believe, is that God uses music to make disciples. And while I'm at it, I don't believe he uses movies, or photography, or poetry or inspirational speeches either.

In fact, there is nothing in our power that can save people. No gift will make you a better disciple-maker. No platform will give you more opportunities to be a disciple-maker.

The only thing that will make you a disciple-maker, is being a disciple.

 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”- Matthew 28:19-20

Jesus didn't leave his disciples asking them to go become better fisherman, or better tax-collectors, or whatever else they were doing before they followed Him. He asked them to make disciples and teach them the things He had commanded of them. To love better, to give more, to be His hands and His feet.

Sometimes this does lead to fame. And just by being obedient to what God has called us to do, we begin to see our platforms increase. But we're not all called to be Billy Grahams and Tim Tebows. In fact, I think very few of us are. And if we are, it will not come at the expense of our families or our own spiritual growth.

And it definitely won't come at the expense of making disciples.

If you want to become famous for something, it's about time Christians "caught the bug" to become famous for that.

Just as the Lord would see fit, during this weekends services we sang "Here's My Heart," by David Crowder. A perfect response to yesterday's post. And exactly what I needed after this week's baby doctor appointment. My heart is holding on to worry as I try so hard to release it. I find myself absent-mindingly googling, "down syndrome soft markers" and reading testimonies from other moms. As I take in so much information and hear so many voices telling me, "It's going to be okay,"  my heart is longing for one voice, and one voice only.

Here's my heart, Lord. Speak what is true. 

Here's my heart Lord,Here's my heart LordHere's my heart Lord, Speak what is true

‘Cause I am found, I am YoursI am loved, I'm made pureI have life, I can breatheI am healed, I am free

‘Cause You are strong, You are sureYou are life, You endureYou are good, always trueYou are light breaking through

(Chorus)Here's my heart Lord,Here's my heart LordHere's my heart Lord, Speak what is true

Here's my life Lord,Here's my life LordHere's my life Lord, Speak what is trueSpeak what is trueSpeak what is true

speakwhatistrue

This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October entitled “31 Days of Being Content.”  See all other posts in this series by clicking here. Or enter your email address in the sidebar on the right to subscribe to this blog and receive posts straight to your inbox!

I've never been a fan of self-promotion. In fact, I cringe every time I have to do it. But I've learned in working myself silly doing freelance jobs (singing, web design, guitar lessons, recording) that it comes with the territory. The only way to actually make an income doing this type of work is to build a network.

I'm a stay at home mom, but a lot of people don't realize that I do a lot of this stuff on the side.

Currently I'm teaching guitar two days a week, and have some talented students ranging from 4th-8th grade. I feel like I'm training up our future student worship band! I'm also working on a website for a friend's company. I'd share the link, but it's not finished yet and they might not approve. But I did this one and this one for our church.

All of these "jobs," have come by word-of-mouth (aka. my husband's). I'm thankful I married such a supportive man who believes I am close to superwoman and can do just about anything... haha, not really. But he is definitely my biggest promoter and encourager.

Lately, he has been encouraging me to promote my music more. And when I say "encouraging"... I mean, he just bribed me to write this blog post.

He's right though, I talk about music and write about music and even record little videos and share my music for free. But I haven't spent much time trying to build on my platform or really make an income from it. I guess it goes back to the self-promotion thing, and the fact that I'm pretty discontent about the music that I do have available.

Not that I think it's bad, I don't. I love it and the songs are very representative of a certain time of my life. Most of the songs on my album, "New Day" were written during college and my first year of marriage... five years ago. 

albumart

I even look like a baby there, right?

But since then, I've written so many new songs that have been healing to my heart during this season of my life.

This season of marriage. And motherhood. And answered prayers.

I already have five I can name off-hand, that I would so love to record and share with you all. I've already shared a few on my youtube channel. But as cute as my little boy Micah is, I would love to offer quality recordings without his adorable cooing in the background. ;)

Like I mentioned in this post, I don't believe I'm the best singer/songwriter out there. I don't think you should be emptying your wallets for copies of my music. But I do believe I am called to do what I do.

And if you believe that too, I ask for your support.

My goal is to record a stripped down, acoustic album before the end of this year. Yes, in two months.

My hopes is that this music will bless your hearts and ears. I also pray that it will be a blessing to my family as we sort through paying for medical bills that have accumulated over this past year.

If you would like to help encourage this process, you can do so by one of the following three ways:

1) Purchasing my "New Day" EP on iTunes. Or order a hard copy here.

2) You can get a head start on Christmas and go download my acoustic "iChristmas" EP. (You'll also have the option of donating whatever amount you would like that way.)

3) And if you really love me, you've probably already supported me in both of those projects. :) In that case, I've provided a donation button below for those of you who feel led to contribute to my next acoustic album. You will be sure to get a copy of it for free as soon as it is finished!

newdayalbum

ichristmasalbum

Whew, thanks for bearing with me through that!

I was once told by a music professional in the recording industry that I needed to "get over" my disdain for self-promotion. That I needed to "believe I was great and go out and sell myself to the public!"

I am still working on that. I don't know if I'll ever get to the point where it is a comfortable thing for me to do. But at the same time, I do believe in God's call on my life. And I believe HE is great enough to provide for all of our needs. This is one area of my life that I am continually seeking daily contentment in. The balance between taking action and just believing God will provide. I'm beginning to think both are necessary. 

This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October entitled “31 Days of Being Content.”  See all other posts in this series by clicking here. Or enter your email address in the sidebar on the right to subscribe to this blog and receive posts straight to your inbox!