A couple months ago, I had the opportunity to go over to a friend's beautifully, landscaped home and pick kumquats for a women's gathering we were having at our church. Now don't judge, but I had never heard of a kumquat before going over to pick them off her tree (I know, a shame, really). But as soon as I saw that they were edible, I scooped up one in my hand and tried it for the first time.

They were so good! Bitter, yet sweet. In the best way.

Here we are clipping kumquats! 

When I think of moving and leaving the church we have spent the past four years of our lives serving and investing in, I leave with the taste of a kumquat in my mouth.

So bittersweet.

This is our third move in eight years. So you would think, by now, I would have figured out how to keep my guard up, not let myself get too emotionally invested, and try not to make any long-term dreams or plans for my life in any one particular place.

And truthfully, the first year or so after moving to Ocala, that's how I lived. It was a hard adjustment for me. The hardest one yet. It was coming back to my "hometown," but so much of it had changed. So much of me had changed. I was pregnant, for starters, with my first baby (Micah). An awkward stage to make new friends, let me tell you. I love making friends, but preferably not while also suffering through severe indigestion and round ligament pain. :/ It was also a hard time for my family. My mom was battling cancer and - while I was so grateful to be near her during this difficult time - if you've ever had a loved one go through chemo and radiation, you know the challenges go deeper than just the surface.

It wasn't until shortly before my second baby (Hannah) was born, that I found myself starting to "let go" of anything that was distracting me from fully serving God and being present where He had planted us. Letting go of expectations and just looking to celebrate what Jesus was doing in the lives of those around us. We started a small group and got to know some of the greatest people - watched them get pregnant and have babies. Prayed with many to receive Christ. Baptized others. And enjoyed powerful moments of worshiping our Savior together! Life doesn't get any sweeter than that.

And I can say for me personally, that this last year of ministry at The Springs was by far my favorite. And that's what makes this whole transition bittersweet.

Yet, God knows exactly what He is doing in every season of our lives. And the only thing we can ever ask to have and the only true thing I know to hold on to during these times, is His presence.

And boy, do we have that. We have the peace that surpasses all understanding that this is the right decision for our family.

I am so thankful to be married to a man that desires to serve the Lord with everything in him. He is an amazing teacher and disciple-maker. He does not look at a person and classify them as anything except a child of God. There is no pretense about him. And he is way too humble to write all this about himself, so that's what I'm here for. ;)  

Last year he felt God was calling us to plant a church in Jacksonville. I wasn't ready. I didn't have that peace. I felt there was still work to be done in Ocala. He listened to me, and agreed. But one day, a few months ago, while sitting and listening to him teach at church, I heard God say, "It's time. You need to support him wherever I call him to go." And my response was a lot like Moses in Exodus 33 (which ironically I read yesterday as my devotional), "If you don't personally go with us, don't make us leave this place." 

I find it telling that the Lord's reassurance that He would go with Moses and everything would be fine, came right before Moses' statement. It wasn't that Moses didn't hear what God said, or didn't believe him, it was that he needed his heart to catch up. Moses had no idea what God was preparing ahead for him and His people. Because of Moses' obedience to eventually leave "that place," we have the 10 commandments. Because of those commandments, people saw their need for a Savior. Because of that need, we got Jesus.

The truth? I don't want to go anywhere without His presence. And no doubt that I'll be reminding Him of that as we pack up and say goodbye to this place tomorrow. 

“The LORD replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.” Then Moses said, “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place.”

• Exodus 33:14-15

There was a time in my life when I would have considered myself a political 'junkie.' I watched the news and listened to talk radio, constantly. I volunteered in 2004 and 2008 with the Republican Party. And actually enjoyed it. I hugged George W. Bush at one rally and shook John McCain's hand at another (see picture to the left? That was me dressed in red, white and blue at a McCain rally in Jacksonville, FL. Just in case you needed proof of the political "junkie-level" I'm talking here). I still remember the time that I had a "very important" question to ask (regarding the support and endorsement of Mike Huckabee) and I called in to Sean Hannity's radio show and was put on the air to discuss the 2008 election season for all to hear.

Judge me if you will, but I blame a lot of that part of my life on the fact that I worked a job in a cubicle. Being cooped up like that can do crazy things to the brain. 

But the truth is, for many years I put my hope in who I wanted and believed should become president. 

Honestly, I've debated blogging about this election season for two reasons: 

1) I don't, particularly, enjoy being controversial.
2) I don't really care who wins.

Now let me explain.

First of all, it may come as a surprise to many of you that I truly DO NOT like controversy. I can understand that. I mean, I'm currently writing a post on politics and mostly everything else I write about is on my faith - and everyone knows that those two things combined is a recipe for controversy. 

But on the flip side, I am a passionate person. Particularly one who is passionate about what I believe about the gospel. That Jesus Christ is the son of God, our atonement, the Savior who came to save us from evil/darkness/sin. And if what I believe about the gospel of Jesus is true, I must speak out. 

Especially when the rest of the world is chiming in and deceiving people. (I got yo number, Satan!) 

So anyway, I hope that answers the first reason.

Now, to explain why I said "I don't really care" who wins the nomination as the Democatic/Republican candidate and eventually, the presidential election. That is not completely true, because if i didn't care AT ALL I wouldn't be taking the time to write this post. But by "I don't really care" who wins, I mean this...

My hope is NOT in who becomes the President of the United States.

Amen! Praise Jesus. If you want, you could stop reading right now. Just that one line will change your life. I promise.

But to all my brothers and sisters in Christ, if you are still not convinced, let me put it to you this way - while this may not have been true just a few decades ago, it certainly is evident that this is the truth in 2016 - there is no longer a chance for a political candidate that could represent our country in a God-fearing, God-honoring, God-pleasing way to be elected as the President of the Unites States. In fact, they won't even get a chance at the nomination for the Republican Party. Not in this culture. Not in this day and age. Maybe, not ever again.

And please understand, I'm not saying this because I am bitter. I have no reason to be bitter. My candidate of choice has not lost, because I still don't know with certain who I'm going to vote for. 

I'm saying this because I believe it to be true. And I believe that the Bible (and Revelation, specifically) predicted it long ago. 

The problem with America (and the world, in general) does not lie in who is President of the United States. The problem with America (and the world, more importantly) lies in the heart of man. 

No matter what the history books say, our nation is no longer a Christian nation and we should not expect a Christian president. 

It's easy to blame the way our country and world is heading when we don't like the person in the "driver's seat." But, if you haven't noticed already, every politician is just saying what they believe people want to hear! They are trying to woo and win an audience. They are salesman. If it's not obvious to you by how many times candidates swap stances on issues, or mince words, or straight-up lie when the circumstance calls for it, then I don't know what will convince you.

You don't have to possess the gift of spiritual discernment to recognize that these men (and woman) running for office are not being completely truthful. Perhaps the one that is being the most truthful, the Trumpster himself, is actually the least presidential of them all. And by truthful, I am only speaking in the sense that he says all the dumb things without packaging it in a box of shiny, "politician" hogwash. 

There is a reason he is leading in the race for the Republican nomination and that's because people believe him. 

And maybe more than anything else, maybe more than even caring what values or plans of action the political candidates say they stand for, people just want to BELIEVE in something. In someone. 

So we may get Donald Trump as our President. Ridiculous as it sounds to write that, I am not even that concerned. Is he my choice? Hardly. But what I do know is that people are seeking authenticity. People are seeking someone who doesn't give a care about "political correctness" and is what they are. No more or less. 

I know many will say Donald Trump is far from authentic. And I'm not saying he isn't, but even the appearance of authenticity is enough for the cynics in our country. 

But in all of this I still have hope, because I believe God has a plan to use even this to draw more and more people to Himself. I mean, He planned for the fall of man, I think he can handle a Donald Trump presidency. And if you want some biblical comfort to that fact, if Trump does become president, Romans 13 says God actually placed him there. 

“Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.”

— Romans 13:1

If our world is searching for someone to believe in, someone who holds to His promises time and time again, then they look no farther than the God of the Bible. He has never failed on a promise! And even when things look dark, He promises to be with us. 

So while I agree that we should prayerfully vote and prayerfully support the candidate we believe aligns with our values the most, let us not be hopeless when the choice appears to be the lesser of evils. 

I know the end of the story, and while I'm still studying to try and understand the details, I can tell you for certain - the world isn't supposed to start looking any godlier anytime soon. We know the only One who can change the hearts of man. Let's not try and pretend a presidential candidate can do that. Or more importantly, stop that. 

“Don’t put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there. But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God.”

— Psalms 146:3, 5

Last night I tucked my little boy Micah into bed, prayed over him and then walked out of his room and shut the door behind me. It was only minutes later when he came running out of the room with tears in his eyes saying, "Mommy, it's too dark!" I walked back in his room, shut the door behind me and sat on the bed with him to get a perspective of how dark the room really was. He held on to me tightly as we sat and stared into the empty, black space.

It was kind of creepy in there.

He has these sliding glass "mirror" doors that conceal his closet, but are directly across from his bed capturing our oddly-shaped reflections. He has an old-school TV and DVD player, that make weird cracking noises. Not to mention, his bedroom is on the farthest side of our house next to a giant tree with birds and crickets and other indistinguishable creatures lurking right outside the window. 

I felt my own fear starting to rise. And then quickly summoned the name of Jesus and assured Micah that He is watching over us and we have nothing to fear. I turned on a hall light and that helped give him enough peace to fall asleep shortly after that. 

I started to think about the fact that we are all born with an awareness of evil. I did not have to teach my son, Micah, to be afraid. If anything, we have avoided anything scary and have overly encouraged him to be brave. Yet, he still fears the dark.  

And the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that we never really grow out of being afraid - but we grow in faith. 

The evil in this world scares me. If I dwell on it too much, it actually torments my soul. I could lie awake all night thinking of all the evil things that could happen (and I have) but instead I have chosen to grow in faith. Grow in faith that there is a Creator who is working out evil for good. That even though evil entered this world, in the garden, and destroyed the perfect plan God had for His creation - it will one day be PERFECT again.  

When I hear about tragedies, like the shooting that took place in Charleston last week, it is an opportunity for me to continue to feed the fear and sit in the dark or rest in faith and turn a light on. 

Now I'll be honest, I've been sitting in the dark for a few days. Listening to the noise around me - blaming racism, blaming gun laws, blaming flags. Becoming more afraid by the hour.

But it's time to turn on the light. I'm here to say, this evil CAN be turned to good. And praise the Lord, it already is. 

Did you read or hear about how the families of the Charleston shooting victims are offering forgiveness to the gunman? Now go back and find the source of that news report.

National news is talking about forgiveness. And not just any forgiveness, but the forgiveness that comes from God. Just read this article by USA today. 

And you can call the gunman a racist... but don't tell me we live in a racist society when the church service on Sunday at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church looked like THIS:

Such a wonderful sight to see brothers and sisters gathered together in the name of Jesus.

Too often we sit in the dark and fear the evil. Dwelling on everything wrong with the world. And trust me, it's the easy thing to do. No one has to teach us to be afraid.

But all it takes is a perspective shift, to get up and turn on a light and rest in faith. And remember, God is working it all for good. We don't have to be afraid of the dark.