Day 16: Knowing too Much
Today we had an appointment at Shands to check on our baby girl. First of all, we confirmed that she is indeed a GIRL! I was thankful that it was very obvious. Not that I didn't trust the earlier scan - but you always read those "surprise" stories of girls turning out to be boys. So this scan definitely helped confirm what I knew in my heart.
We'll be welcoming...
... this coming March! (Will be discussing more about her name and how we chose it in an upcoming post!)
Ultrasounds are always fun to me. I love seeing my little baby wiggling on that screen. Today she had her hands covering her face and feet just a kickin'. Thankful we got to see all five fingers and toes (or should that say all "20" fingers and toes?), her cute little profile and the blood moving quickly through her heart! It's the little things that awe me.
How amazing that God is forming her right now in my womb? I mean, I get just speechless staring at the screen of little, lively body parts wiggling around. This child is alive.How anyone can doubt the validity of life in the womb, is beyond me.
But now I'm getting off topic.
What I really wanted to talk about today is how this whole pregnancy has shaken my faith and goal of being content in all things. Today I showed up looking for answers. To diminish any concerns of having another child with heart issues. But instead, we were left with more questions.
As soon as we arrived I was told that we couldn't bring Micah back to the ultrasound room, which meant Josh would need to stay back and watch him. I always like having him there, it's his child as much as mine, and if anything was wrong he deserved to hear it from the doctor first hand. But this is life with multiple children, I suppose.
So I went back alone and waited as the nurse informed me that it was too early for them to do the echo they had planned and they would need to call my OB doctor to get a referral for a level 2 ultrasound instead. Once they got the referral, they went to work on measuring every little part of our little Hannah. Everything was looking perfect! Then as soon as they got to her heart, I could very clearly see the bright spot they were referring to. It's very alarming looking - but they just call it a "soft marker" and it could end up being completely normal. Then they got to her kidneys and noticed some fluid in her left one. This is considered another "soft marker."
The doctor came in and explained that all these soft markers mean is that there is an increased risk of Downs Syndrome. He recommended we do two more ultrasounds to check her heart (at 24 weeks) and kidneys (at 32 weeks). With all the medical stuff we've been through with Micah and this pregnancy, all we see is $$$ signs next to these tests. How will they even help?
We were informed that we could opt for a genetic blood test that has a 99.5% accuracy of detecting Downs Syndrome. And our insurance would cover it completely (so that means, free).
This seems like the best route to go, since we'd rather not waste time (and money!) on more ultrasounds if there is a genetic problem that could perfectly explain these "soft markers." Now if there isn't a genetic problem, then I would want to follow through on checking up with her kidneys and making sure the fluid drains correctly.
Now to step away from all the medical hoopla. The real fact is that this doesn't change anything. We are still planning on welcoming another baby to this world and whatever comes along with it! Honestly, sometimes I wonder if life would just not be so much simpler without all this medical knowledge. I know it's helped save lives, but has it not also destroyed some? Without knowing all of these things about our unborn children, we have no choice but to be content with whatever God gives us. But sometimes discontentment comes with knowing too much.
But, my child, let me give you some further advice: Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out. Ecclesiastes 12:12
Wise man, that Solomon.
This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October entitled “31 Days of Being Content.” See all other posts in this series by clicking here. Or enter your email address in the sidebar on the right to subscribe to this blog and receive posts straight to your inbox!