I wrote a post a couple months ago talking about how I wanted to get back to blogging like the old days again. And while the intentions were good, and I do long to write more frequently like I used to, I've been struggling with how to approach it.

The real problem is there's been a lot going on in this head of mine. And I've just become so exhausted, personally, reading article after article of one-sided commentary on every single topic - that I really don't want to sound like another gong beating my own drum. 

I think it would help, though, if I approached blogging like having a conversation with a friend over coffee. 

If you were that friend, I would start by telling you that we've been living in Jacksonville for 10 months now and I am still recovering from the emotional toll that this specific move has taken on us. It's hard to complain when you have so much to be grateful for, so I won't go on and on about it. But I am so thankful for the friends that have sent a message or text to let us know that they are praying for us on this journey. It has been so encouraging. Every time we move, the most painful part is leaving people. And as long as we are investing our lives in wherever the Lord calls us, I'm certain that will never get any easier. 

Speaking of investments... we are praying through whether or not to buy a house again! Our first home that we purchased in Alabama has still not sold (but thankfully has a tenant!) so we have been reluctant on taking that leap again. But now that our church campus has launched and our rental lease is up in May, we are looking to join in with the community on the Northside of Jacksonville sometime in the next few months. Not to mention, we've been told it's a good time to buy before the "economic boost" that is projected to take place now that Trump is in office.

Speaking of Trump in office... it's been something, hasn't it? I've never seen a single party so divided over a candidate quite like this. And, truthfully, I've never felt more confused in where I stand myself. It's about time, though, that Christians separated their faith from allegiance to a certain political party. And I will be the first to admit that I've gotten it wrong in the past so many times. But there is just too much at stake, spiritually, for us to keep putting our hope or hate in any governing office. Instead, let's pray and turn our actions towards being the change we want to see happen in the world (cue, Michael Jackson!) How can we love those close to us better? How can we love the least of us better? Jesus said in John 13:35 that the world will know us by our love... not by our political platforms or strong opinions. 

If I were having coffee with you, I'd probably let out a deep breath right after that last sentence and take a big sip of that coffee to shut up my own strong opinions from spewing all over the place. Because it's easy to do. And I know once I get started on a tangent, I have a hard time shutting up. 

But then, I'd probably sit back and let you take over the conversation from here. Because I'd want you to know that I value you and your thoughts as well. We may even disagree at some point, but we'd probably never raise our voices or belittle each other for having an opinion. It's funny how differences become minor when you're sitting face to face with someone - seeing their expressions, hearing their tone, and learning about all of the life experience that has helped shape their views over the years. That's the benefit of having conversations over coffee. 

“Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.

Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:2, 15‬ 

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Last weekend, I spent some time with a group of our girls from church for a "Girls Night Out." We played games, ate pasta, had a fashion show and talked about modesty. And of course the inevitable dance party broke out before we curled up with popcorn and soda to watch Princess Diaries. I brought Micah along too (he was the only boy allowed!) so we didn't spend the night, but we stayed pretty late and met them back up there around 10am in the morning for a time of worship.

If it sounds like fun, you'd be right, it was.

But what I cherished most of all was getting the opportunity to spend face to face time with these girls. They had questions, they had hurts and some of them had a seriously flawed view on what it meant to be beautiful. And modesty, no matter how "dated" the word may appear, is such a needed character trait that I thought I would address it here on the blog as well.

Modesty is dying in our culture. And I'm not just talking about a dress code. You can be wearing a burqa and still be immodest. Modesty, in it's very definition, means humble. Unassuming. Unpretentious. Quiet about our own achievements and abilities.

In a lot of ways, completely opposite of our culture.

We are being influenced and consumed every day by social media, magazines, photographs, tv, music, you name it... that tell us that success is beauty, that money is beauty, that fame is beauty. And the temptation is there to become envious of those who have nicer homes, or nicer hair, or nicer clothes. Before we know it - we are caring too much about what everyone else thinks of us and not caring about thinking of everyone else.

It's not like we have to go too far looking for these things. Thanks to social media, it's flaunted in our faces. One of the biggest trends out there is to take "selfies" or simply, a picture of yourself. I cringe just thinking about it. Because for decades teenagers have struggled with self-esteem and identity issues, this isn't new. But now we have measurements to help boost our ego or dig in the knife deeper, depending on how many people decide to "like" our photo. The whole concept behind a "selfie" is selfish. We are degrading ourselves. We are worth so much more to Christ. (Let me also clarify that I do believe there is a difference in taking a selfie for selfish reasons and taking one to truly document a moment. But a lot of times it's hard to differentiate between the two, so I tend to avoid them altogether).

You see, immodesty is all about how much you are revealing. Whether in your clothing or in your tweets, photos and conversation. And if we don't have a filter in our lives, we are going to adapt to the culture around us.

My filter is my husband.

Whenever I get dressed to go somewhere, I ask Josh if what I'm wearing is okay. Sometimes he says, "You look too good in that!" which is code for "You need to go change." There have been several times where I've thought I looked "supa-cute" in an outfit, and he felt uncomfortable with me wearing it. So I changed. I care more about being modest, especially in his eyes, than I do about being trendy or fashionable.

I also run things by him before sharing on social media. I show him photos before posting, read him tweets before I send them out and even blog posts sometimes, if I know it may be a touchy subject.

This is how I've handled my very real, very tempting, issue with modesty.

I want every girl and guy to feel beautiful. I want them to feel loved. But, immodesty robs us of that. Immodesty is always asking for more.

This is such a heavy burden on my heart. I believe it accounts for so much of the heartache teenagers and young adults face today. Spending the weekend with these girls reminded me of this prevalent issue.

And to all my 18+ women out there, who think this issue may not apply to us, remember you are an example. They are watching. Show them what a godly woman of character looks like.

I'll leave you with this quote I saw pop up on my Twitter feed the same day I started writing this post, no coincidence I'm sure.

"A gentle spirit, modest character and loving personality gives a radiance to the face that no makeup could ever replicate." - Ashlee Chu

Amen.