I am a night owl. I thought maybe that would change once I had a baby, but I think (maybe) it has gotten even worse. I don't know why, but my brain has a hard time shutting off before 1 or 2am. I am in bed much earlier than that, but I lie awake for hours tossing and turning. And before you ask, no I don't drink caffeine (I wish it was something that simple!)

While I'm laying awake, staring out into the darkness, thoughts come to my mind. Tons of them. And at 2am what sounded like the best idea ever, doesn't sound so great at 8am the next morning. A lot of those ideas have been potential blog posts. Struggling with insecurity, balancing life as a new mom, God's provision in our lives and beauty in the little things... to name just a few. But when the morning comes, those thoughts appear less important. And on with my day I go.

Which is why I have avoided writing much on the blog besides my current "Music Monday" and "Meet the Robinson's" series posts.

But tonight I have something I want to share. And I feel like these late night thoughts are probably not only in my mind, but in many of yours as well.

This generation is constantly looking for a way to make a name for themselves. Call it entrepreneurism, or whatever. But this success-driven society calls for more work and less relationship.

And when we do make time for relationships, a lot of it is strategic. How can this person benefit me?

We are an image-driven society too. We want to see beautiful things. Beautiful people. Beautiful photos of beautiful people.

And maybe it's just me and my weariness with all the glitz and glam, but I hardly think that the One we claim to live to impress... would be too impressed.

In all of our doing and striving to be somebody, are we not exactly missing the point that none of it is really about us anyway?

It's all about making Jesus famous.

The Bible teaches us to care about having relationships with the orphans and widows. What can we gain from them? Exactly.

And Philippians 2:3 says, "Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves."

A far cry from the society we live in.

And I won't sit here and deny to you that I haven't been sucked right along into it. Wanting people to be impressed with me. Wanting them to value what I have to offer.

Because I've believed the lie that Satan tells me... that what I do is who I am.

But God has spoken to my heart the truth... that because of whose I am, I _______.

That blank has been filled with - love others, serve others, pray for others, encourage others. And living life in this way, no matter how opposite of society, will in fact... make Jesus famous.

Warning: There is no filter in this post. No proofreading. No spell check. Just my random thoughts on this random Tuesday night. Enjoy. Summer. It's a refreshing feeling. I'm so thankful for a job that allows me a two month hiatus. Teaching can be one of the most rewarding, but draining jobs. I thought I was a patient person until I became a teacher. But oh, the moments when I have a class that is attentive and quiet. I just love that feeling too.

I'm still working during the summer though. Odd jobs, really. I'm teaching swim lessons for the next couple weeks. Then I have the amazing opportunity to lead worship and sing for a few events. And most excitingly, I'll be back as a track leader at WIRED for my third summer here in Dothan. I'm really looking forward to it.

Costa Rica. My first overseas mission trip ever. Really? Yep. It is a blessing from the Lord (that came in the form of a sweet couple in our church) that made this financially possible. All things work together for the good...

Speaking of good. God is good. But He's more than that, He's loving when I'm unlovable. He's patient when I'm hesitant. He's forgiving when I'm embarrassing. It's good to remind myself of these things. Especially, when I start to think I'm never going to be good enough.

And while we're talking about things that aren't good. This world is not good. I see so much I wish I didn't see. Mostly on the internet. I'm not superstitious (more suspicious than anything), but one time my dad told me that if you add up the letters in "computer" based on an ancient Babylonian numbering system, they equal 666. The alleged "mark of the beast" symbol. There are only two other words that equal this number - kissinger (whatever that means) and witchcraft. Weird, I know.

Anyway, that's a whole lot of babble to say... I am supersti.., suspicious of how this world is operating. Of how I am operating. If I am being honest, I spend a great deal of my time interacting with technology. My phone and my computer are basically attached to my hip. I am dying for an iPad actually, because it is smaller and more compact than my laptop (imagine that... something more portable than a laptop!) But goodness... the time that is wasted by staring at a screen. Every time I think of deleting social networking from my life - I feel like I'm deleting 1400 facebook friends and 400 twitter followers. Plus the fact that I order pizza online. Pay bills online. Buy music online. Sell music online. Wow...

And he causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666. - Revelation 13:16-18

No one will buy or sell except the one who has the mark. Most everything nowadays is sold with a UPC code. Which is scanned onto a computer. And we are leaning more and more towards doing everything online. I don't know... "computer" adding up to 666 doesn't seem so crazy to me now, Dad.

So what does that leave me with? Not much, really. You won't see me throwing out my Droid anytime soon. But then again, I don't want to sit by and become ignorant of the blatant evil that is masquerading itself in the form of twitter statuses filled with gossip and hate; innocent "facebook chats" leading to adultery; google searching images that lead to pornography; building aquariums, farms and other games that waste our time; and probably the easiest to overlook and the most convicting of mine... constantly feeding our minds with what everyone else thinks and does.

I don't know how this post that began with a few babblings turned into my thoughts on the end times and the mark of the beast... but welcome to my mind. This is how I operate. I just decided to write it all out tonight instead of speaking it aloud. My husband says thank you. :)