It's amazing what a new blog design can do to kick up the inspiration to write! What is this, 3 days in a row now? I can't promise I will keep this up all year, but I think now that I have thrown away any expectations for myself and this blog, it's become a lot easier to just sit down and write. I just got home from a quick trip to Gainesville (about 45 minutes away) to drop my mom off at a doctor appointment and swing by Panera to meet up with a friend while I waited for her to get done. My mom and I love to talk, so there is never a moment of silence while we drive. Somehow we got to talking about college and how God provided in so many ways that seem miraculous to me now. Like the one time I got a job four hours away leading worship for a good-sized church. They reimbursed me for gas/mileage AND paid me a generous salary on top of it. Oh, and I was only 19 years old at the time. It basically paid for my entire semester of college that year, and came at a time when I desperately needed it.

And then I started thinking about all the ways God really has provided, even since then.

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2013 was the first year I have officially been "unemployed" and taken on my new role as a stay-at-home mom. Prior to that I had been working various jobs for the past decade, since I got my first job as a cashier at a grocery store when I was 16 years old. 2013 was also the first year, since Josh and I have been married, that we were able to afford gifts for both sides of our families, our little boy, Micah... and amazingly, each other.

Looking back on the year, I have tried to pinpoint a cause for this ease in financial burden. But, honestly, I just can't find one. On paper it doesn't make sense. We have an extra mouth in the family to feed, not to mention buy clothes, diapers and other baby products for. There have been unexpected doctor bills and we still haven't sold our house in Alabama. We could be drowning right now.

Instead, we're floating. And even getting a nice suntan while we're at it.

I don't say this to boast in anything we have done. Or even to say that we are living extravagant lives and throwing money up in the air above our heads. This is definitely not the case. But we have a home - a nice home with enough room for our growing family - we are never hungry and do not have to rely on credit cards to pay for flat tires. There was a time when we did.

We made poor decisions in the past with money, and I believe we suffered the consequences for it. But since we made the choice that I would stay home and raise our children, I have never seen a decision more blessed.

I write this all, not only to celebrate and praise God for what He has done in our lives, but to encourage others out there who need to hear this reminder.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

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I think we worry too much about what we don't have, instead of really looking at what we do. I know that was the case for me before I had children. It's amazing the difference a shift in perspective can make. I could complain about the movies we don't get to go see in theaters, or the fancy dinners we don't get to have as often, or even the cost of having to pay for a babysitter to do any of these things anymore.

But what I enjoy more than anything these days is a night at home with my family, cooking a nice meal (usually made for a total of $5 or less!) and streaming a new movie on our Xbox for $3.99. We take walks as a family, go to the park, enjoy God's beautiful creation... and nothing costs a dime. Our bank account is full. Our life is even fuller.

There are so many negative things going around about how much having children costs, and "your life will be over" statements that make me cringe! Maybe I'm only one year into it, and I still have a lot to learn, but that hasn't been my experience so far. And I really don't believe God ever intended for it to be.

So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:31-33

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God provides. I have so much faith in this promise, because I have witnessed it with my own eyes. Through the tangible gifts of family, friends and members in our church - He has provided.

But I think we miss the part where it says to, "Seekfirst the Kingdom of God and liverighteously" and forget that there is an action required on our end. Our lives and choices should be evaluated constantly to make sure we are truly seeking what is best for the Kingdom. If we do this, we can rely on His promise to supply everything we need.   Sometimes that means taking a leap of faith when it doesn't make sense on paper. It doesn't mean you're irresponsible, it just means you are trusting in a God who is more responsible than you. And most importantly, a God who knows what you need before you ever know you need it.  

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My one month journey of blogging on contentment ends today. And yet, I feel as though I've just barely scratched the surface here. Writing on any topic for 3130 days is a challenge. I commend all of you who took part in this journey! And definitely have a new respect for daily bloggers. It is a huge commitment.

But from the beginning of this challenge on September 30th, to right now, sitting here on October 31st, I truly believe I have been the one blessed.

The Lord gave me new eyes this month, to see each day as a new day and the circumstances in my life in a new way. Sometimes it was easy for me to spot the discontentment in my heart and sometimes it was hidden, either because it had found a comfortable home in the deep crevices or I was too afraid to humble myself and admit it was there in the first place.

But everyday I showed up asking the Lord what it was He wanted me to share that day. A lot of prayers and listening for God's voice went on while I rocked my little Micah to sleep. I can't explain the healing that occurred just by taking this time to listen. Not all of the things that He taught me were able to make it to a post, so I'd like to end this series with just a few things I've learned and ways I've grown in my faith as a wife, mom and blogger.

1. Eternal purpose for every situation.

I've always believed there was a purpose for everything. And that God causes all things to work together for His good (Romans 8:28). But now, I am actually looking for it. I am aware of it. And every problem is ultimately a way for me to give Him glory, because I would never be able to face it on my own.

2. Authenticity with everyone.

I just started a Beth Moore bible study called "Sacred Secrets," and in it she talks about the three laws of sharing that she believes have a biblical basis. Authenticity with everyone, Transparency with most and Intimacy with some. I believe this blog has made it to the Transparency level. I've shared some things I probably never would have had I not taken part in this challenge, and I've seen the Lord glorified and others encouraged through it. From now on, this blog will always be a place of authenticity and transparency. If someone was to read this blog and then meet me in person, I would want them to say I am exactly who they thought I would be.

3. This is my voice!

This leads me to the final, unexpected thing I learned by blogging everyday. I've finally found my "voice" on this blog! For years I have been blogging, but never have I been able to sit down and feel like the words flowed as freely and genuinely as they have this month. Maybe having one topic to focus on kept me from drifting all over the place, or maybe it's a combination of the things listed above, but whatever the cause for this new freedom of writing/expression, I want it to stay.

My journey of writing about "being content" may be ending, but that doesn't mean the battle has. I will forever be fighting the urge to give in to a discontented spirit. I'm just thankful that this month gave me a launching pad for how to daily put my trust in Jesus in every circumstance. And maybe you found yourself in some of my stories, and if so I would love to hear about it. We are never alone, and never meant to fight these battles alone. So thank you for being on this journey with me! It doesn't end here. :)

This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October entitled “31 Days of Being Content.”  See all other posts in this series by clicking here. Or enter your email address in the sidebar on the right to subscribe to this blog and receive posts straight to your inbox!

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Yesterday I went costume shopping. Micah's adorable "Monster" costume was given to us by a friend and I found Josh an awesome Where's Waldo outfit, so the only one costume-less was me. It's kind of a fun thing for me to do, costume shopping, even though I feel like a bit of an imposter while doing it. I mean, I'm dressing up for our student ministry's costume night at church. It's not like we're technically "celebrating" Halloween, we're basically just taking advantage of the chance to have some crazy, stupid fun. Because, really, who doesn't like to dress up? Anyway, so after picking through the last of the remains of costumes at Target, and finding nothing that fell into the "funny, but not crude" category I was going for, I got in my car and searched "Halloween costume store" on my gps. The closest one was half a mile away and right next door to Hobby Lobby (which was my final destination if I couldn't find anything). Perfect, I thought.

Upon entering, I was overwhelmed by the massive amounts of costumes and just knew I'd for sure find what I was looking for.

A young girl who was working there quickly offered to help me pick out a costume, especially after I told her I was expecting. "I've actually really been wanting to help a pregnant lady find a costume!" She said excitedly.

I had no clue what I was in for.

The first stop she made was the fairy/goddess section. She showed me how the waistlines were higher which would fall perfectly above my belly, and the dresses were long and flowy and beautiful (and strapless and see-through). I think the exact one she suggested was the "Greek Goddess Athena." I quickly realized I was going to need to be a little more specific.

"I'm actually going for something a little more lighthearted and funny, but thanks for that suggestion..." And as soon as the words came out she said, "Ooh! How about a pregnant nun?!"

I have to admit. I gave that one a little more thought.

"Haha! Wow, that would be hilarious! But, well... do you have any type of food costumes?" She led me to a "Sexy M&M costume" and that's when I knew I needed to go ahead and break the news to her.

"Thanks for all your help, but I'm going for something a little more modest, and non-vulgar because, actually I'm dressing up for a costume party at our church."

She gave me an, "Oh." And looked at me like I had been wearing a costume the whole time.

And then I realized how true that probably was. Because to be honest, I was trying to avoid telling her I was going to a church costume party at all. I knew, from the moment she approached me that modest and friendly wasn't on her mind. And I didn't want to burst her bubble and I especially didn't want to make the situation awkward. But the more I tried to cover up the truth, the more awkward it was when it eventually came out.

The whole time I was mindlessly following her around and entertaining her mostly inappropriate suggestions for me, I felt discontent in my spirit. Because I knew I was avoiding the truth for fear of pride. What would she think of me?Would she still want to help me find something?Or would she think I was a prude?

These are the same fears that come to mind whenever I have the opportunity to expose Christ to the world. Because I know it's like shining a bright light in someone's eyes - it's not always welcome or pleasant, especially when you've spent a long time in the dark.

But the discontentment I feel when I choose to ignore the leading of the Holy Spirit to speak up and say something is not worth it. It's not worth the hindrance it causes in my prayer life, or the dip it causes in my faith.

Being true to who I am in Christ and what He has called me to do, should never take a back seat.

And sometimes, when I'm put into a situation where I know I will stick out like a sore thumb, or in this case, like a modest costume on Halloween, I am not content enough in this truth as I'd like to be.

I ended up leaving that store and heading next door to Hobby Lobby, where I bought some felt for $5.99 and made myself the absolute perfect outfit to go along with my little monster. A giant cookie. :)

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This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October entitled “31 Days of Being Content.”  See all other posts in this series by clicking here. Or enter your email address in the sidebar on the right to subscribe to this blog and receive posts straight to your inbox!