I am a night owl. I thought maybe that would change once I had a baby, but I think (maybe) it has gotten even worse. I don't know why, but my brain has a hard time shutting off before 1 or 2am. I am in bed much earlier than that, but I lie awake for hours tossing and turning. And before you ask, no I don't drink caffeine (I wish it was something that simple!)

While I'm laying awake, staring out into the darkness, thoughts come to my mind. Tons of them. And at 2am what sounded like the best idea ever, doesn't sound so great at 8am the next morning. A lot of those ideas have been potential blog posts. Struggling with insecurity, balancing life as a new mom, God's provision in our lives and beauty in the little things... to name just a few. But when the morning comes, those thoughts appear less important. And on with my day I go.

Which is why I have avoided writing much on the blog besides my current "Music Monday" and "Meet the Robinson's" series posts.

But tonight I have something I want to share. And I feel like these late night thoughts are probably not only in my mind, but in many of yours as well.

This generation is constantly looking for a way to make a name for themselves. Call it entrepreneurism, or whatever. But this success-driven society calls for more work and less relationship.

And when we do make time for relationships, a lot of it is strategic. How can this person benefit me?

We are an image-driven society too. We want to see beautiful things. Beautiful people. Beautiful photos of beautiful people.

And maybe it's just me and my weariness with all the glitz and glam, but I hardly think that the One we claim to live to impress... would be too impressed.

In all of our doing and striving to be somebody, are we not exactly missing the point that none of it is really about us anyway?

It's all about making Jesus famous.

The Bible teaches us to care about having relationships with the orphans and widows. What can we gain from them? Exactly.

And Philippians 2:3 says, "Don't be selfish, don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves."

A far cry from the society we live in.

And I won't sit here and deny to you that I haven't been sucked right along into it. Wanting people to be impressed with me. Wanting them to value what I have to offer.

Because I've believed the lie that Satan tells me... that what I do is who I am.

But God has spoken to my heart the truth... that because of whose I am, I _______.

That blank has been filled with - love others, serve others, pray for others, encourage others. And living life in this way, no matter how opposite of society, will in fact... make Jesus famous.

I walked outside today, not expecting to see any flowers. Because it's winter, not really the "blooming" season. But low and behold there was a little bud coming through on our rose bush. It was a bright spot on this cool and windy day.

Like this rose bush, our lives have seasons as well.

Lately, my life has been full of transitions. We've moved states, started a new ministry and have a new baby. One transition is hard for anyone. The more you add, the more confusing life gets.

And so I've found myself struggling to bloom where I'm planted.

Sometimes when I'm home all day, I feel convicted that I am not spending enough time really ministering to people. So I've joined online bible studies, online networking groups, and have caught up and prayed with/for long distance friends. Because my heart's desire really is to make disciples and be intentional in sharing the gospel with people. 

But if I'm honest, on those long days of just staying home with my boy and being a mom, I struggle with knowing if I am missing out on what God has called me to do.

And thanks to a video I listened to yesterday from Christy Nockels, I have been knocked in the gut about this.

She talked about inviting the Lord into the middle of the mundane - writing songs while doing laundry, cleaning the house and doing the every day things of life. She also made the statement about "blooming where you're planted," instead of striving on your own to get to a "bigger stage" or "bigger platform." I found myself saying "amen" out loud quite a few times while listening.

Life looks drastically different for me than what it did this time last year. And while I felt like I was really blooming a year ago, I've been struggling to see how I can bloom in this new season of life.

But what a timely message I received from Christy, because God really can be invited in the mundane. In fact, He longs to be invited there.

God is just as much glorified in the moments when I am singing and praying over Micah, as He is in the moments when I am singing and leading thousands of people to worship.

And the great thing about seeing that little rose bush on this winter morning in January, is the reminder that no matter the season of life - you can bloom wherever you are planted.

The Christian culture is enamored with the term legalism.

Legalism: the dependence on moral law rather than on personal religious faith.

Growing up in church, attending bible college and marrying a student pastor practically gives me a target on my back to be labeled, "legalistic." But add on the fact that my husband and I have chosen not to drink alcohol and well, you might as well call us 21st century Pharisees.

At least that is what pops in the minds of many people. Maybe yours included.

In fact, more than ever lately, we have been asked by other ministry friends if we "drink" or not. It's like a prerequisite for social outings. It just always seems to "come up" one way or another.

But why is this? I mean, when was the last time someone asked if you watched R-rated movies? It's just an awkward question. "I, uhhh... yes, I mean I have, but no I don't."

They should just go ahead and ask what they really want to know - because I'm pretty sure our choice of beverage is not the issue here.

They want to know if we are legalistic.

Well, we're not. Far from it actually. And I think this word has been completely misused and wrongly insulting towards many people.

While there is a serious flaw in trying to depend on our own good works for our salvation (legalism), there is a huge difference between this and striving for holiness.

You see, our decision to not drink is just one example, of many, that is a result of our calling to pursue holiness. Just as we don't want to tempt ourselves with alcohol, we also don't want to be alone with the opposite sex, dress in a way that draws attention to our bodies, or watch certain movies that compromise our moral convictions. It's all a strive to be more like Jesus and less like our dirty, nasty selves. We don't need any help from alcohol, movies, clothing, etc... we're pretty filthy on our own.

"So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead be filled with the Holy Spirit." - Ephesians 5:15-18

Did you catch that? Be careful how you live. Don't act thoughtlessly. Especially in these evil days.

This is a call for holy living. Set apart living. What that looks like for you, may be different than what it looks like for me. But what matters is that we do what the Lord wants us to do.

Josh and I are completely confident that our decision to not drink is the best choice for our lives. Coming from families who have abused alcohol and just seeing the abuse of alcohol in our society, is enough reason for us to want to abstain. We do not believe this is necessary for everyone. And it definitely isn't necessary for salvation. But we still struggle with feeling the need to defend ourselves from the "legalistic" label.

This brings me to my final point: I don't think it is possible for a true Christ-follower to be legalistic.

This is not to deny that there are truly those living in legalism. There are. Legalism would be for us to believe that any of this actually SAVES us.

But someone who has truly been saved by the grace of God knows that it is nothing they could have done, it was ALL about what Jesus did. And abstaining from whatever may cause them to fall back into a lifestyle of sin, is not legalism - it is holiness.

Click to read Romans 14 for further biblical instruction on this topic.