There are some things I don't want to write about.

I am, by nature, an optimistic person. One who desires to focus on the positive and believe there is a little good in all of us. But tonight, I came face to face with pure evil. A kind of evil that I didn't know people were actually capable of outside of cable television.

I watched ISIS murder 30 Ethiopian Christians. 

And this just happened this week. There was another ISIS case of persecution/terrorism earlier this year (in February) as well - and I ignored it then. I can't ignore it again. 

I am not linking to the video, ONLY because I do not believe this is something everyone needs to see. But some, some may need to see it. I truly believe I was one of those people (even though, I really really wish I wasn't). 

If I'm being honest, I haven't been very in tune with the world at large. I could blame it on motherhood and having young babies to care for, but I knew within 20 minutes after the news broke yesterday that Tim Tebow was going to be signed to the Philadelphia Eagles. (ESPN was on in the background as I was getting my kids dressed for bed and my ears perked up at "Tebow," what can I say?) I'm also pretty up-to-date on all of my engaged, newly married and pregnant friends thanks to social media. No, I think the real truth is that I have become so consumed with my comfortable American life, that I have become apathetic to the rest of the hurting world. 

Not intentionally. But not unintentionally, either. 

Can I be real about something? American Christianity is shallow. My faith is shallow. 

Every morning I get up, and never worry about dying because I love Jesus. Not even for one second. 

And let me tell you - lots of "worries" cross my mind. "Do I have to change another poop this morning? Can I sleep for five more minutes? Are we out of coffee?" Just to name a few. 

Like I said. Super shallow. 

I don't even know how I ended up here. With such a weak faith, I mean.

I went to Bible college. I married a pastor. I read my Bible. I pray... oh, do I pray. I listen to Christian music. I sing worship music. I spend nearly half of my week at church, for goodness sakes. 

But yet, I barely touch the surface of what it truly means to live for Christ. Not in the context of what my brothers and sisters in Ethiopia (and several other countries) are facing. I imagine they read and cling to these verses a little differently than I.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’ ”

— Romans 8:35-36

Have you ever stopped to think about why Christianity is so easy in America? 

And before you try to argue that it's not - can I point out that I just heard Miranda Lambert (and a handful of other artists) thank Jesus Christ for an ACM Award on national television?

For an ACM Award. 

They will surely live to face another day. In fact, they may even get a few iTunes sales out of it. 

And good for them. I am not saying this is right or wrong - but just a matter of fact. America, the land of the free. We have it good, don't we? Or do we.

America, with all it's fame and glory, has made a celebrity of Jesus. Christianity is just another genre. Pick a weekend show to attend. Hashtag your allegiance on social media. And don't forget to pick up your copy of our new worship album, when you leave. There is nothing inherently bad about any of that. But the reason Christianity is so easy in America, is because there is nothing really hard about any of it either. 

Saying you love Jesus in America, is like saying you love coffee. 

Some love it, some hate it, some are fanatically addicted to it. But nobody is really offended by it.  

And the heavy burden on my heart... is because they should be. They should be offended by Jesus. Because the gospel, the whole foundation of Christianity, is offensive.

And if you don't believe it's offensive, try telling that to ISIS.

After I stumbled upon "the video" earlier, and saw... the murder... the blood... I quickly turned it off. My mind couldn't process it as real. Not at first. It was just another gory movie. But then, my heart began to break. As I realized these were my brothers... soldiers of the faith... falling to their death because of the same faith I claim. Because of the same name I sing about every weekend. Because of a man who laid down His life for us... they were laying down theirs.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. ”

— Matthew 16:24-25

There are many who thank God for the blessing of being born in America. A country where we have the freedom of speech and religion. To believe strongly and voice those beliefs (like I'm doing right now) on a public platform. And I have been guilty of thanking God for this "blessing" as well. 

But I think we may have it backwards. 

I think the Christians being persecuted in the middle east are the ones being truly blessed. And I think our biggest question here in America should be... why is our faith so shallow? 

“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

— Matthew 5:11-12

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Have you ever felt the need to be quiet? To not say anything, even when what you are watching/seeing/hearing is wrong, for fear of the backlash, the label, the stigma that you are "one of those" Christians who is all about judgment and little grace? This seems to be where I am finding myself these days. And it has caused me to retreat from blogging or sharing my heart on anything, besides what I know to be politically correct and accepted by all. Which is basically nothing. Because we debate everything under the sun these days, even down to what type of diapers we put on our babies' butts.

And so silence seems like the best position to take in the name of love and peace and, you know, actually having friends.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that silence is less about loving people and more about them loving you.

We don't want to offend. So we tread lightly. We don't want to call out any particular sin in someone's life. Because, I mean, who are we to judge? We speak in generalizations and never really say anything.

And we feel validation in the fact that people like us. People find us approachable. People can be themselves around us - eat, drink and be merry!

And without even realizing it, we've made it all about... us.

I know some have come in the name of "Christianity," with their boycotts and picketing, and made the rest of us feel like we need to spend our lives making up for our tainted reputations. But we don't. Not really. That's just a lie that we've believed. Our reputations are always faltering and changing anyway, Christian or not. If there's anything we can be certain of as followers of Christ, it's that the world will hate us.

"And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world." - John‬ ‭17‬:‭14‬

"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you." - John‬ ‭15‬:‭18-19‬

"And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved." - Matthew‬ ‭10‬:‭22‬

But, people loved Jesus. I hear you. That's always been my defense too. But did people really love Jesus? All the time? Like remember that time when he was preaching that he was the bread of life and that no one could come to the Father unless the Father gives them to him? (See John‬ ‭6) It said many people turned away and deserted him after that. Because it was offensive.

Listen, I'm not saying we need to join the protests or fill our churches with sermons of condemnation. But I believe there is a third option. Speaking the truth, in love. With gentleness. Proclaiming to a lost world that Jesus is the way! That sin is sin. And that repentance is necessary.

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. - Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭15‬

I know just writing this out and reading over the Scriptures listed above has helped bring about a revival in my spirit. To quit seeking the approval of man. Forget silence. Forget political correctness... I'm mad at Hillsong! There I said it.

And not just them, but the whole movement that teaches you can't be straightforward about sin AND still be loving. I am a messed up sinner myself, and there are times my husband has been straight forward with me about areas in my life that need repentance. You know the one thing that never crossed my mind? He doesn't love me! If anything, I felt loved enough that he would point it out. And also, I felt loads of remorse and disgust for what I had done.

That's true repentance.

We're becoming a generation of "Thumpers." And not the "Bible-thumpers" that everyone loves to hate. The one from Bambi that coined the phrase, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." (Some of you just learned that wasn't in the Bible) It's time to quit hiding behind the veil of wanting to show love to people and admit it, we just really want people to love us.

Update: Brian Houston, pastor of Hillsong Church, has issued a statement which clarifies the context regarding his first statement. While this issue was not the sole reason for writing this post, I do feel like it needed to be clarified that I am in no way discrediting Hillsong Church or their ministry. I believe they are doing great things for the Kingdom of God! Praying that the gospel continues to be preached!

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If you asked me to share one verse that sums up how to live the "Christian life" when it comes to relationships, I would point to Romans 12:15 every time. Let me tell you from experience, most of the problems we have with other people (whether spoken or unspoken) come from not obeying this simple truth.

Rejoice with those who rejoice...

This sounds easier than it is. I mean, who doesn't enjoy having others celebrate with them over a new job promotion? Or a new house? Or a new baby? We tend to forget this verse when it's our turn to rejoice for someone else. Especially if the rejoicing comes when we are struggling to get a job, or buy a house or have a baby.

Envy creeps in and we begin to look at that person's joy as a killer of ours. Oh, how many times this has happened to me.

I specifically remember the feeling I used to get every time a friend announced they were pregnant... when we had been trying for over a year. It was a dagger in my heart. And I spent many nights crying over someone else's joy.

I was wrong. I was hurting. But, I was still wrong. It wasn't the other person's fault and I should have been rejoicing over their blessing. Of course, it's easier for me to say now that I'm on the other side. But that's the thing - we could all find ourselves on the other side one day, wishing others to rejoice with us.

... and weep with those who weep.

Pain and suffering scare people. And when our greatest fears turn into a close friend's reality, we often shy away. Afraid of what may come out of our mouths or in some cases, what may not. We live at a close distance, offering our condolences and the "here if you need me" statements, when... of course, they need you.

They need you to be the friend you always have been.

This struggle is hardest for me when I am experiencing joy in an area where someone else may be suffering. Because sometimes, in order to genuinely weep with them, I need to squelch my joy. It's caring enough to understand that it's not about my happiness in that moment, but about their pain.

A living sacrifice. 

Our lives are like a pendulum swaying back and forth between these two emotions. And often times we find it easier to rejoice when we are rejoicing and weep when we are weeping. Like the saying, "misery loves company" we tend to be blinded by our own circumstances and forget to love others in spite of them.

What makes this verse even more important is the context in which it is placed.

It is found in Romans 12, which is titled in my bible (and maybe yours too!) as the chapter devoted to being a "A Living Sacrifice." Everything leading up to this verse is focused on being the opposite of what our sinful, fleshly nature desires. And I don't find it ironic (because nothing in Scripture for me is coincidence) that the verse right before it says to, "Bless those who persecute you." A command that is so easy to gloss over on a page, and so very hard to put into practice.

None of this is easy for us to do on our own strength. It is an act of worship. We worship the Lord by giving our bodies to Him as a sacrifice. We worship the Lord by loving those who say mean things about us. We worship the Lord by working enthusiastically at all we do. We worship the Lord by hating what is evil. We worship the Lord by genuinely loving people. We worship the Lord by rejoicing and weeping with others whenever they need it.

I just want to challenge you today, friends, with something I have been striving to live out in my own life. Take notice of those who are rejoicing and rejoice with them! Take notice of those who are weeping and weep with them. Let this be your act of worship. It will blow your mind how much this changes your relationships with people. And even better, how much you feel the Holy Spirit at work in your life.