I still remember saying goodbye to my friends on the last day of 5th grade. It was 1998 and it was emotional. The way the school zones worked out, I was going to end up attending a different middle school than most of the kids I had spent the last six years growing up with. I had never been the “new kid” before and I wasn’t really sure I wanted to be. As my bus slowly rolled out of that elementary school parking lot, so did the tears from my eyes. And as I stared out that foggy, glass window, I wondered if I’d see my best friend or secret crush ever again.

Who knew that only six years later, in 2004... there would be a way that I could. I believe it’s no coincidence that Facebook was created the year before I graduated high school. Instead of tears rolling down my cheeks my senior year, I was jotting down college email addresses so I could add all my friends on this new and upcoming, popular social website! It seemed pretty straight forward - you put up a profile picture, shared photo albums and “wrote on walls” of people you wanted to say hi to. It was brilliant and most importantly, I’d never have to miss a friend again! 

In 2006, I began blogging as a college student just trying to figure out life. I was married only two years later after I just turned 21, and was joyfully naive, but nonetheless excited about offering advice to the rest of the world! I spent a good portion of the early years of marriage writing about faith, music and ministry life together with my wonderful husband. Those were golden and beneficial years. A transformation happened in my writing when I began to get vulnerable about our struggle with infertility, which eventually led to sharing the joy of our pregnancy with our first baby boy and then, by God’s grace, two girls following! It all came naturally as I shared my life, and family, with people across the internet. And I ended up keeping in touch with quite a bit more than just those few friends I was afraid to miss in high school. 

But if I’m honest, It’s 2019 now and after 15 years of being on the Internet, I’m ready to quit. 

There are many reasons I’ve been struggling with wanting to quit the internet (stirs up comparison and discontentment, too many people to keep up with, never feeling enough, etc.) But, for times sake, I’ll break it down into the BIG 3. 

THREE REASONS I WANT TO QUIT THE INTERNET.

1. My time is limited. 

There is a lot of pressure these days to maintain and grow your social media presence. As someone who does photography as a side gig, I know that I have to keep posting regularly or I lose my place in the “algorithm” and stop showing up in feeds. Which, therefore, hinders my prospect for new clients. But, as motherhood has taken its toll on me (in the best of ways) my time and energy have become limited. I distanced myself from this blog almost two years ago after receiving some not-so-nice comments about a political post I wrote. It wasn’t the mean comments that got to me - it was that I didn’t have the energy to defend my words anymore. This was a problem. If I was going to invest my heart and passion into writing something, I knew I needed to have the follow-through to defend it. Which brings me to my next point — 

2. I’m too passionate. 

I struggle with how to be a good and present mom and also... save the world from going theologically, spiritually and politically down the drain! (I think I’m a little too late on that last one) I have watched from the not-so-comfortable sidelines for over two years, hoping that I would somehow (magically) turn into one of those mom-bloggers who could write about sofas and recipes and call it a day. (Please take no judgment, sofa and recipe-writing mamas! I need you. I read you.)

But that’s just not how I’m wired. And I’ve learned to be okay with it. And more than okay, I’m grateful. Grateful that God would give me this never-ending desire to see Truth win out. And let’s face it, I’m just no good at blogging unless I can blog about the things that give me life and purpose. Some would argue a couch could do that for them. My couch can’t. 

3. The world (and therefore, the internet) is dark and evil.

This is really the one I could sit down on for a few hours/days. The Holy Spirit has been heavy at work within me over these last two “silent” years, as I’ll call them. I have felt so unsettled by the current spiritual climate of our country. My heart, physically, aches. I read things almost on the daily now that cause me to run to Scripture. Not just to have a verse to throw into the fighting ring - but as armor to guard my own heart and mind. It’s scary out there! I have questions about everything. And even my questions have questions. As followers of Christ, we must cling to The Bible as our only true and reliable source - and, sadly, we are in a culture today that is trying to disarm us from our only weapon. 

But as I run to Scripture, I find that this battle has already been predicted. God knew beforehand that these were the times that would exist. And get this... it is NO coincidence that any of us were brought into this world FOR SUCH A TIME. 

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. ”

— Galatians 6:9

This brings me to…

WHY I WON’T QUIT.

If we believe God placed us into this world for this time, and we are called to be bright lights in a dark world (Matthew 5:14). Where else can we shine our lights brightest if not the place that seems the darkest? 

Honestly, I was hoping the internet would die or fade away if I started fading away from it. But that’s just not how it works. In fact, it seems like the more I try to ignore it - the louder it gets. (Try putting your phone down for a day and you will notice EVERYONE else on theirs). None of us are THAT important enough to kill it. The Internet is here to stay.

And one day soon (in fact, in LESS time than the amount of years I’ve been on Facebook!) I’m going to be handing it over to my children. How will I ever let them use a tool that I have never really grasped the purpose of myself? They are looking at our example now and, as with everything, we need to model what that looks like. 

Millennials are the first generation to parent while also using social media.
And we won’t be the last.

I’m afraid that one day we will have a lot of advice to give of “what-not-to-do” and not a lot of WHAT to do. I know that I’m still figuring it out myself.

But I can tell you this - it doesn’t look like endless self-promotion (though, at times, it is necessary). It doesn’t look like mindless scrolling, or ranting, or speaking words that I would never say in a conversation face-to-face. Or finding my value in numbers that go up and down like the waves. 

It does mean connection, speaking life, pointing others to Christ and spurring each other on into likemindedness. Did you know that we are called to think alike, as believers? Being of “one mind” is something Paul wrote about frequently with great urgency and prayer (1 Corinthians 1, Philippians 2). He knew it would be difficult. But I’ve found the best way to unify isn’t to shout from the outskirts, but to stand in the center of something with open arms. 

So even though I’m worn out, tired and ready to give up at times - I keep pressing into this space and using this tool to hopefully, somehow, be a light to the world and encourage other believers to do the same. When the voices of those who speak Truth begin fading from view, confusion takes over. And where there is no vision, the people perish. 

“When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.”

— Proverbs 29:18

And to think, I thought the Internet was just a brilliant way for me to never miss a friend again. Only God knew it would be a tool to make sure my friends never missed Him. 

photo by Sarah Willis

Earlier this week, I read an article about Francis Chan's recent talk at a live Facebook event. He gave details on why he left his mega-church several years back and began the movement of planting house churches across the city he lives in. As I read it, I felt like everything he was saying were thoughts in my heart I have never quite been able to communicate out loud. I found myself mentally questioning what the current "typical" church looks like today and left wondering, What should the Church look like?

(If you haven't gotten a chance to read the article, go read it now or else the rest of this post probably won't make much sense)

I'm still not completely sure how Francis was invited to speak to the Facebook employees (although, I think it's pretty amazing!), but if you want to listen to his entire talk in detail, the whole thing is incredibly inspiring and I would definitely recommend it. It's up on Youtube.

Towards the end, he was asked a question about his current church model (We Are Church, more on that in a minute) and what they could learn from it. This is what led him to begin sharing his thoughts and struggles through his time in ministry as the lead pastor at a 5,000 member mega-church he once planted. His concerns came as he questioned whether his congregation was truly producing the type of family relationship that he believed Jesus called the Church to be representative of in Scripture. The type of church that is known for its "love for one another" (requiring more than a 30-second welcome on Sunday morning). The type of church that is a body of believers each "utilizing their spiritual gifts" (instead of just sitting and listening to him use his spiritual gift). And he admitted that it never sat well with him that it took millions of dollars to operate this model (drastically reducing the resources that were able to be going out into a needy and hurting world).

These are all things that my husband, Josh, and I have had long, hard conversations about; as we wrestled and fought with Scripture (and sometimes each other!) to determine what a biblical, church model should look like. These are the dark, behind-the-scenes of ministry, that no one seems to want (or are able) to talk about publicly. And then here comes Francis - unafraid of what man may think and genuinely concerned about standing before God one day and having to give an account for the way he spent his life. 

For Francis, that looked like a radical change in his ministry. He left his mega-church, and started a network of church planting called, "We Are Church" that is a house church model designed to grow no bigger than about 30 members. In this model, he sees the church diving into the word of God and studying it for themselves. Each church has two (unpaid) pastors, and each member is accountable for their family of believers and intimately involved in the spiritual health of their body. The goal of this, ultimately, is to send them out to be spiritual lights in a dark world and to continue the mission of spreading the gospel, making disciples and consequently, birthing new house churches. 

Sounds very "New Testament church" familiar, huh? 

The only concern I have with this model (house church) is that there are limits. 

***

A few years ago, we started a small group in our home with about 5 other couples. It was one of my favorite times of ministry and I enjoyed eating, praying and studying the Bible together with these friends that, truly, felt more like family. Then, as I began sharing about our group and what we were studying and learning, I started getting requests from others who wanted to join! After multiple times of having to turn people away and encourage them to "join another group" or "start their own," we felt compelled to begin meeting in a larger building and expand our small (turned large) group into smaller "sub-groups." Eventually that "small group" grew to about 80 people! But there was still a sense of large fellowship with those we had established relationships with, without losing a sense of the intimate community. Basically, we just grew as a church.

***

The example in that, is that if everyone in a house church is truly living out the mission of not just discipleship, but evangelism, then you won't be able to keep people away. And the need for a bigger building will eventually come.

Why not just start another house church? I guess would be the question. That would seem fine in theory - but if the key is building relationships, then wouldn't the people out sharing their faith need to leave their current house church once they led an unchurched person to Christ to continue discipling them in a new one? Or would they plug that person into a different house church with strangers and hope they find a relationship with someone else? 

I think it's possible for it to work. But it's also possible for there to be flaws. Hence, the "no church is perfect" conondrum we have been wrestling with for decades. 

Let me talk for a moment about another church model. One that I have become very familiar with over the last few years and believe has a biblical precedent as well. 

You may have heard of it - it's the multi-site church movement happening amongst mega-churches that outgrow their capacity. They are expanding their reach by planting new "campuses" in neighboring cities, in order to maximize their resources. The benefits of this church model is that instead of starting several new churches in the same area that share similar beliefs and ideology - you have one Church, united in purpose and mission to reach multiple communities.

But still, while this model is working to grow and reach more people numerically, the real spiritual growth happens in intimate relationships. 

The church we are currently a part of, Chets Creek, is an almost-twenty year old, multi-site, mega-church and is a great example of how something BIG can still grow small. Every Chets Creek campus is heavily-driven by Life Groups that meet every Sunday morning. In fact, one of the most surprising things to me when we first joined the church last year, was just how many people were in a Life Group! Chets also puts a great deal of financial investment and resources in missions and other church plants (around the city of Jacksonville, locally and nationally) which is highlighted and celebrated in a weekly "Missions Moment" during the service, so the congregation can see exactly where their tithes and offerings are going. The environment is not centered around a "one-man show," but is relied greatly upon other staff and volunteers that serve faithfully in areas they are gifted. Chets is also committed to launching multiple campuses that can replicate this model to better reach the neighboring communities. Josh and I are grateful to be a part of the North campus that just launched this past January. 

Why do I share all this? Because Francis Chan is on to something. Church, and more importantly Christianity, means nothing if it is not producing disciples who genuinely love God and love each other. It is not about pep talks, or spiritual highs, or motivational speaking. Sure, that can all take place - but not at the expense of neglecting life on life, bearing with one another, carrying each other's burdens type of relationships. Church is a family. And, like anyone who has one knows, family is messy. 

But healthy families also grow. And what is sustainable for one family (i.e. one child vs. eleven) may look different for another - house church to mega-church and everything in between. 

So to answer the title question... what should the Church look like? Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that out. And while there is no perfect analogy, I have settled on this:

It should look like the best Thanksgiving family dinner you've ever been a part of. Every person plays a role in the preparation and the participation. If someone is missing, everyone feels it. And when there are guests, they are welcomed with open arms and great big hugs. Whether it's a house church or a mega-church that you belong to - the most important thing, is that you have found a place where you can experience the love of Jesus and truly belong. 

I would love to hear your thoughts, as well... what do you think the Church should look like? 

... but you can't take the building out of the Church! 

Next weekend, on January 29th, we OFFICIALLY launch the North campus of Chets Creek Church, which we lovingly refer to as "Chets North." But good news - you don't even have to wait until then! You can join us tomorrow, January 22nd, at 10:30am for church if you want to! 

Nine months ago, my husband (Josh) and I moved to Jacksonville to join the mission of seeing God build His church on the Northside of Jacksonville. We sensed that He was already at work in the hearts and lives of people all around the community and felt a call to be a part of continuing to spread the love and saving power of Jesus Christ!

But, this whole process of moving, preparing and launching a new church has caused a great deal of work to be done in my own heart. For starters, God had to completely wreck my view of what "church" was all about and tear down the walls of pride that were slowly making residence in my heart. The walls of pride that said church must look a certain way, take place in a specific environment and that it was mostly about my spiritual growth. Those walls? Completely shattered by the end of this nine month long journey of preparing for a church plant in a school, with limited technology (although we have been blessed and equipped with more than we could ask for!) that takes longer to set up for than actually take part in. 

Here's the thing I've had to come to grips with - the church isn't about me. If it was, then I would have a hard time when it let me down. Sure, as believers, we make up "the Church." But the Church exists for so much more. It exists to be the literal, hands and feet, eyes and ears, arms and legs of Jesus. We are the body of Christ.

“All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church...”

— 1 Corinthians 12:27

I think the enemy's greatest tactic in our culture today is to try and keep the "Church" in a building. He wants us to believe that our mission is a rocking, Sunday morning church service. Or an awesome, community-building life group. Or even volunteering our time, giving our money or using our talents to serve a local congregation. 

And those are all great things that every church should strive for! But we can have all of that and still not be fulfilling the greatest mission of the church - to make disciples of all nations, by sharing the love and gospel of Jesus Christ. 

“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:2-3

And to think, there was a time when I thought church was just attending a service. Worshiping God together. With music that everyone enjoyed and preaching that always challenged and convicted the heart. And if someone didn't like the way one place did "church," they could always go down the road and find another (or start one themselves!)

At least, that's what my experience shaped me to believe. 

But in leading us to start a new church, God has completely wrecked that view. Church is a people. It is people you commit to. People you choose to willingly sacrifice for. People you serve together with. People you don't always look like. That's why Paul wrote that we are one body, with many different parts. 

“The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ... How strange a body would be if it had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.”

— 1 Corinthians 12:12, 19-22

Josh and I are just a part of the body of Chets North. Which is just a part of the body of Chets Creek Church. Which is just a part of the body of the global Church. All parts are needed. And based on Scripture, the ones we think are least important are most necessary.  

We are planting a church in a growing part of Jacksonville, where there are truthfully not enough churches to reach the people living there. My husband went to a church planters meeting recently that pointed out that even if every church building in Jacksonville completely filled every seat - there would still not be enough churches to reach everyone. 

That's why we are launching a new opportunity to join together as a body of believers. To be a part of the bigger picture of reaching the world with the gospel of Jesus Christ! I am thankful for the work God has done in my own heart, laying the foundation of what the mission and existence of the church is really all about. There's a great quote by Rick Warren that says, "Focus on building people, before you build a steeple." And while a building would be nice one day, we know the true building is already taking place.