photo by Justin Robinson

The other day I heard a whisper from the Lord right before I was about to begin my nightly ritual of nursing Hannah before bedtime. My usual routine was to grab my iPhone and scroll through Instagram, Twitter and Facebook (in that order) as she drifted off into her milk coma. But that night I heard a little voice (that I realize was the Lord, now) say, "Why don't you put your phone down tonight and just enjoy these moments. They will pass so soon." I heard the voice clearly and even thought about obeying it for a second, but then my selfishness got the best of me and I was back to my usual routine. 

And then a couple days later, my sweet 10 month old baby girl stopped nursing.  

I was blindsided one night when I went to feed her and she acted completely uninterested. My never-skips-a-meal, eats-for-20-minutes-on-both-sides, baby girl was uninterested. I tried for half an hour... nothing. She even started screaming in frustration/hunger. I didn't know what else to do and I had no formula on hand, so I tried pumping and giving her a bottle. It worked, thankfully. I tried again the next morning... and same story. Finally I took her to the doctor (because obviously, something HAD to be going on... I mean, she must be ill or something) and they said she was teething. Well yes, duh, she already has 9 teeth. I could have told you that. But that never stopped her from nursing before.

And when it finally hit me and I finally succumbed to the fact that this was just it, that she was done nursing and ready to move on... I cried. I mean, really cried. 

I didn't think I would be emotional about it. I mean, I wasn't with Micah. I nursed him 13 months and was relieved when he finally could go to sleep on his own without needing to nurse. 

But maybe this was different because I was already pregnant with Hannah by the time Micah stopped nursing. And I knew I would be back at it again soon. Or maybe, and probably more likely, it was because this time... it wasn't on my terms. This time I didn't get to plan the weaning process. I didn't get to prepare her for it. And I definitely didn't get to prepare myself. 

And I remembered that small voice that whispered to my heart just a few nights before, telling me that these moments were fleeting... and I wish I had obeyed. I really wish I would have cherished those last couple days like I did when she was first born and all I could do was stare at her sweet face 24/7.

People tell us all the time to enjoy those early stages right after they are born, because it goes by so fast. And it's true. They do. But we need to cherish the moments in-between too. Because for all the "firsts" that we experience, there are so many "lasts" that will quickly sneak up on us. I wasn't prepared for this last. But I promise to listen and be prepared for the next.  

photo by Justin Robinson

It takes a baby nine months to grow in the womb, so it only seems fit that February marks nine months since I "officially" started Cassidy Robinson Photography and I just now feel like my baby is full-term and ready to thrive on it's own. 

All puns aside, this past year has been a learning and growing process for me. I am thankful for the 29 clients (so far!) who have booked me as their photographer in my first year of business. There are so many wonderful photographers locally and you took a risk in choosing this newbie to capture those special moments for your family. I cannot thank you enough. 

Because of everything I have learned this past year, both positive and negative, I am making a few changes to my business. The one thing I am so very excited about is online viewing galleries! One of my biggest hurdles was getting photos back to clients speedily. Because I am a perfectionist and also indecisive to a fault, it took quite some time for me to sift through hundreds of photos and only choose the 20 best. I either ended up over-editing or feeling the guilt that I possibly left out a potential favorite. Because my opinion is just that... my opinion. With online viewing galleries, it now puts the choosing in the hands of the ones who will be displaying these photos for years to come. 

I have also updated my pricing. I was told from the get-go by well-meaning friends and family that I was "too cheap." I want to be a photographer for the people. I want to be affordable. I believe every family deserves quality photography, without having to break the bank for it. So I'm choosing to offer a broader range of prices for a variety of different sessions. I'm sure there is a session that everyone can afford in there!

And sadly, I am saying goodbye to personalized jump drives (unless requested). They are beautiful and I love them, but they also take quite some time to ship and seem impractical to those who only want a handful of photos edited. I will be sticking to hi-res digital downloads via the online viewing galleries. You will be able to download your edited images on any electronic device (phone/tablet/computer) and print them anywhere! This will hopefully help my goal of returning photos promptly. 

And last but not least, the most obvious change I have made to my business is... this website! Blogging has taken a back seat as I am ever-learning to be present as a wife and mom. I never want to get rid of my blog entirely, so I just reformatted my website to feature the important aspects of my photography business - while also keeping this little blog space personal. Hopefully it's a good balance of personal + professional. :)

Again, thank you all so much for being a part of watching my baby grow. I never thought I would give birth to TWO babies in one year - but sure enough in 2014, I welcomed my Hannah Leigh and also this business. And both have been such a huge blessing to our family!

For the very last day of 2014, we went out in the woods behind our house and took a few family photos. A huge thank you goes to my brother-in-law, Justin Robinson, for capturing these for us. It's no easy task to take pictures of a toddler and baby, but he did a great job (and it helps that they really love their uncle!) I want to remember them exactly as they are and these photos truly capture each of their sweet personalities. I will cherish them forever!

This one is priceless to me.

My little explorer. :)

This is his "dinosaur" face.

Goodness... that smile melts this mama's heart.

How DID he grow up so fast?!?

We almost forgot to get a picture of just the two of us! Thankfully, Justin snapped a couple more in our front yard. He also pointed out that we are definitely starting to "look" like parents, hahaha... sigh. I agree. ;)