Today's post title probably comes across a bit harsh. I'm sorry about that. I just really couldn't find a better way to put it. For years I have watched as friend after friend chase the dream of being famous. Becoming somebody. Having lots of "fans" or "followers." Making lots of money. Whatever the end result, it seems that more is never enough. It's a bug that has hit our society hard. But more than ever before, it has hit Christians.

photo by Dustin Beno

The fame bug.

I caught it when I was about eight years old. I grew up singing in church, specifically children's choir. It was at this age that I had my first solo in one of the productions. It was the first verse of "Jesus Paid it All." One verse is all it took. Someone came up to me afterwards and said, "They should have let you hold on to that mic longer!" What they probably meant as a small word of encouragement to a young, timid girl, were the words that began feeding the bug. 

And let me tell you, that bug grew a hefty size.

I went on to receive lead roles in several productions, year after year, until I graduated from children's choir. And suddenly I found myself in bigger venues - festivals, talent shows, sporting events, really anywhere I could. And there was always someone, somewhere coming up to me at the end to feed the bug. 

"You should go on American Idol!" "You should move to Nashville!" "Why haven't you been discovered yet?!"

These words planted deep within my heart and I started to believe them.

Starving the bug.

While I wrestled with the bug feeders and their many words of "encouragement," I spent much time in prayer asking God what exactly He wanted me to do.

I had just turned sixteen years old and had the opportunity to audition for American Idol. Yet, the more time I spent praying and reading God's word, the more I realized that the "American Idol" dream was not the dream God had for me. So I turned down the opportunity, much to my parent's and everyone else's dismay.

In that decision, I felt so much peace. I had stopped feeding the bug. 

A new appetite.

From that point on, I became hungry. That nasty, little bug had eaten away at so many parts of my soul, I was literally starving spiritually. I began feeding myself with God's truth.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ." - Philippians 3:7

"So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last." - Matthew 20:16

"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." - Colossians 3:2

It became obvious to me that seeking anything temporary, like fame, was simply going to distract me from my calling as a believer to make disciples.

Now, let me be clear. This choice wasn't always obvious for me. It was difficult, it was confusing, and a few times I had myself convinced that I could do more for the kingdom if I was "famous." Because that's what I was told - if only my "platform" was larger, I could reach more people.

But I had a problem with that statement.

Because, what exactly would I be doing to reach these people? You know, other than sing for them?

I'm not denying the power of God to minister to someone through music. Trust me, if anyone is a believer, I am. But what I don't believe, is that God uses music to make disciples. And while I'm at it, I don't believe he uses movies, or photography, or poetry or inspirational speeches either.

In fact, there is nothing in our power that can save people. No gift will make you a better disciple-maker. No platform will give you more opportunities to be a disciple-maker.

The only thing that will make you a disciple-maker, is being a disciple.

 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”- Matthew 28:19-20

Jesus didn't leave his disciples asking them to go become better fisherman, or better tax-collectors, or whatever else they were doing before they followed Him. He asked them to make disciples and teach them the things He had commanded of them. To love better, to give more, to be His hands and His feet.

Sometimes this does lead to fame. And just by being obedient to what God has called us to do, we begin to see our platforms increase. But we're not all called to be Billy Grahams and Tim Tebows. In fact, I think very few of us are. And if we are, it will not come at the expense of our families or our own spiritual growth.

And it definitely won't come at the expense of making disciples.

If you want to become famous for something, it's about time Christians "caught the bug" to become famous for that.

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They say that, "no news, is good news." Sometimes that's true. And then sometimes - like when I am cooking or cleaning and leave Micah alone to wander aimlessly around the house searching for something to destroy - hearing nothing is more disturbing than the shrieks and shrills that usually abound. That said, I figured it was time to update you all on our baby girl, Hannah (if you don't know what's been going on, read this post to catch up).

First of all, praise the Lord, because in our case the "no news, is good news" theory is definitely true! Last week was a flood of great news. In all the peace and excitement, I totally forgot to even mention anything here on the blog. I guess this proves that I write more out of the desert than on the mountaintop. Or that I decided to refinish eight dining room chairs, rearrange three rooms in my house, and work on packing for our upcoming Thanksgiving vacation (can you say "nesting" at 22 weeks pregnant, anyone?)

The combination of all of that, has left little time to update this blog. And I'm so sorry! You all have been some of the most encouraging, prayerful people in our lives. And I just want you to know how grateful my husband and I are for that.

So on to the news...

A couple weeks ago we decided to go ahead and get a blood test done to find out the risk of Hannah having possible chromosomal problems. The results came back... I am low risk for any possible birth defects! Praise The Lord for this comforting news. Although, I admit I was ready and willing for anything, it still is reassuring to know with 99.8% accuracy that our baby girl will be just fine.

Also, we had another ultrasound done last week to look at her heart for any defects - specifically the VSD that Micah was born with - and everything looked completely normal! She doesn't appear to have any heart issues at all. So that was more comforting news.

They also took a peek at her kidneys to see if there was still extra fluid in the left one, and there was more great news there - nothing above the normal level was found!

So basically, to sum it all up - Hannah looks like a perfectly, normal 23 week old baby, growing healthy in the womb at this moment. The "soft markers" for Downs are completely that... "very soft" and there is a 99.8% chance she will not be born with it. The doctor said verbatim, "Nothing is ever 100%, but this should be very reassuring news to you."

And it is. It really is. But deep down there is still something that is unsettling to me. And it's the fact that we even had to go through all of these "screenings" and "tests" to come to this conclusion.

It makes me question why I even get ultrasounds or go to the doctor in the first place. In fact, I went in for a pregnancy checkup today, and it was literally 15 min from the moment I walked in the door until the moment I left. Fifteen minutes. They weighed me and measured my belly and sent me on my merry way.

The whole thing just makes me feel weird sometimes. How something so natural, has turned into something so... controlled.

I could say much more about this, but I will refrain. Because I'm definitely not opposed to medical intervention by any means. It just causes me to think about and understand how a woman who has no way to pay for multiple doctor visits and multiple tests to rule out "possible" issues with her baby who hasn't even taken his first breath yet, could become discouraged about her ability to carry and give birth to a healthy child. And then my heart aches for all the abortions taking place, some literally right this second.

How many occur because they just don't have time to "worry" about it all? How they will provide. How they will deal with the emotional, physical and mental aspects of pregnancy.

It can be overwhelming. And that's coming from a very stable, very emotionally, physically and mentally capable person. At least by God's grace I am.

I had an aunt who didn't go to the hospital until she was six months pregnant with her first child. She would probably be ridiculed or at risk of having her maternal instincts questioned, in today's society.

Because we put too much emphasis on having control of our lives. When God, the giver of life, is ultimately the one in control.

Sorry to go off there, but these are the honest and raw feelings I have towards this past month of literal chaos and worry over multiple doctor visits. I could never be more grateful for my hope in Jesus than when I am pregnant. It is completely out of my hands.

Josh and I have talked, and we truly believe that we are fighting a spiritual battle here. And this is one way the enemy likes to discourage us.

So I am just rejoicing and praising God today, for giving us this healthy (very active!) baby girl! May she continue to be molded and formed in the womb by our Creator. And prayed and longed for by us.

Four months til her due date!

Today I am guest posting over at Life, Love and Mommyhood for her "Thankful Thursday" series. Please head over and check out her wonderful blog! ______

I've always loved Thanksgiving. The mashed potatoes and gravy made from turkey giblets. The sweet potato casserole with marshmallows on top. Even cranberry, which has never been my particular favorite, tastes good to me on Thanksgiving.

The only thing I don't like about this holiday where we gather together with family, eat lots of food, and give thanks for the things we usually take for granted, is that it happens once a year.

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Just over a year ago I gave birth to a baby boy. The most amazing thing happened when I saw his face for the first time... I was overwhelmed with thankfulness. He was alive, he was breathing, he was looking up at me with the most beautiful dark eyes. He was, in every way, perfect.

I enjoyed 24 hours of this complete bliss before being blindsided with the news that there was something wrong with my precious little boy's heart. After seeing a pediatric heart specialist, we were told that he was born with two holes in his heart. One was small and they believed it would eventually close on it's own, but the other was large and we were told would need surgery to fix in as little as 6-8 weeks.

I left the hospital room and took the elevator down two stories. Holding my 5 day old, 8 pound little bundle of cuteness - I cried the whole way. In that moment, my thankfulness was shattered.

(continue reading the rest of this post over at Life, Love and Mommyhood)