Blog

Posts in family
Circles and Rows
DSC_0049
DSC_0049

Last night after small group Josh tweeted this statement, "Life change happens more in circles than rows." I immediately looked over and asked him if he made that up. "That's a good one!" I said. He told me it was an Andy Stanley quote. Well, of course. :)

But the truth is, he could have made it up. Especially after our time together with friends last night.

If you've ever been to church and sat in a pew, row or chair before and felt like something was missing, let me tell you, that's because there was. I truly believe that the difference between just attending church and getting connected in a small group is huge. Like, life-changing huge.

And let's take away the scary words like "accountability" and "discipleship" for a second.

Having a group of people that you meet with regularly to encourage, discuss, laugh and pray with is more than just "another church thing" to add to the checklist. These are friends. These are people who get to hear your heart, your story and learn what your likes and dislikes are (like the first night when I made chili and learned that one guy in our group doesn't like beans, ha! Try eating chili without beans... or don't, if you'd rather not starve!)

Small group is taking church home with you.

The benefits that come from having a small group are accountability and growth in your walk with the Lord. But those scary words don't become scary anymore. And before you realize it, you have a bunch of new friends that are there to encourage you through the difficult days and rejoice with you through the happy ones.

And those are things that you miss out on when you only sit in rows and not circles.

They get to call him, daddy.

When I wrote this post last week about getting sick and how hard it can be on a mom, I forgot to mention one very important thing that helps make the days so much better. Or someone, I should say. Micah has one awesome dad.

DSC_0405 copy
DSC_0405 copy

I've known for the five years we've been married that I've had an awesome husband. There is no doubt about that. He shows me love in so many ways. This past week he did all the cooking and cleaning when I was too sick to move and slept next to me on the couch while I slept propped up in the recliner (because coughing and pregnancy and reflux don't mix). He doesn't just speak his love, he shows me. And I'm so grateful for that.

But what gets my heart even more excited, is that this man is the father of my children.He is the one they get to call, daddy. 

I'll be honest, I wasn't one of those girls who married a man because I thought he'd be a good dad. That wasn't even on my radar at the time. Everyone knows I married my husband because of his good looks and charm. ;) (Kidding... kinda.)

But while I still love the many qualities that first attracted me to my husband, the ones that I find myself falling more in love with these days are ones I never even imagined being "romantic."

Like, when he gets out of bed first in the morning to pick up Micah from his crib. Or sits on the couch with him and a cup of Cheerios while singing the "Elmo song" together.  Not reacting with anger when said cup of Cheerios gets dumped all over him. Teaching Micah to play ball. Giving him a bath. Changing dirty diapers. And cleaning up the endless amount of toys all over his room.

All the things my husband does are really things that both of us do, but he never just looks at them as "my duties." And that's what I love the most. He sees his role as a father as equal to mine. But, I think it's even more important.

DSC_0393
DSC_0393

A daddy represents the closest earthly example we have to our Heavenly Father. God is referred and compared numerous times in Scripture to a father. I believe this earthly relationship can and has been taken for granted in our culture today.

Many fathers are more identified by the jobs they do than by being the fathers that they are. Even though they are not often seen as the ones toting children around in Moby wraps or pushing them in strollers - many times they are the ones paying for those wraps and strollers. They are the ones spending countless hours a day apart from their children, so that they can come home and know that they have been fed, changed, clothed and taken care of without a worry of how it will be paid for. They are providing benefits for their families every day of their life. Some won't be seen until they are no longer living.

If this isn't an example of what our Heavenly Father does for us every day, I don't know what is.

This isn't to say every man has taken his role of father seriously. Because the sad truth is 1 out of every 3 children lives apart from their father. And that number is higher or lower depending on the demographic. And just to offer a comparison... in 1960, only 1 out of 10 children lived apart from their fathers.

This statistic breaks my heart.

Whether by choice or force, something is splitting children away from their daddys. We know the enemy of this world wants to destroy our lives. What better way than to sabotage the only earthly example of a loving, compassionate Father that we have?

That's where the similarities end.

God will never leave and never turn His back on us. His love is unfailing. Nothing can separate us.

For many children the word "father" is painful. Filled with a longing and desire that was never fulfilled for them on this earth. But the good news that is offered by salvation in Jesus Christ is not just of the eternal kind. Oh no, my friend. The good news is that those who have once been fatherless, are now given the greatest love of all by a Heavenly Father.

And just like my son running into the arms of my husband every time he walks in the door from work... they get to call him, "daddy."

As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him. Psalm 103:13

DSC_0387 copy
DSC_0387 copy
Mommy can't get sick.
DSC_0067 copy
DSC_0067 copy

Yesterday I woke up with a horrible cough. Like, the painful kind where you cough and feel like a lung is coming up or something. Poor Hannah must feel like she's on a roller coaster in my tummy.

But what's a mom to do when she feels like lying in bed all day?

There is still a little person who needs you. One who doesn't understand when you look him in the eyes and say in a gruffly tone of voice, "Mommy doesn't feel well."

Because in his mind, mommy can't get sick.

At 16 months, my son's whole world right now revolves around his ability to understand two things and two things well: 1) He has needs 2) Mommy/Daddy can meet those needs.

And that, we do. Whether it's feeding him when he's hungry or changing him when he's dirty. His needs are always met, and most of the time, with much urgency on our part.

But there are days, like yesterday, when it's hard. And feels more like a job (that you can't call in sick to) than the joy and blessing it actually is. It's these days when my flesh and spirit are weak. These days that I can quickly become irritable. These days that I need the reminder that alone, mommy is never going to be enough.

I need Jesus so badly.

His strength when I am weak. His patience when I have none. And most of all, I need my children to see that. Because the best gospel message we could ever teach them is that we are never going to be all they need.